My grandparents are in the living room watching a bootleg copy of Scary Movie 4. All I can hear from my grandpa is laughter. I feel embarassment.

Fuck you Tucson.

Hello happiness.

Matt Sarten. The world's biggest fuck up. Let's all hear a round of applause. Let's give him a hand for making his family's lives miserable and for making his grandmother say "I wish I was dead." Good job Matt! I didn't even think you could get her to say THAT! BRAVO! And to top it off, he even got away with stealing a hundred dollars. That's ( Read more... )

I'm the cause of his awakening. He sees all the beauty in the world now, and he can't stop smiling. Laying in eachothers arms never gets old. Neither does that look. He tells me I have lightening bolts in my eyes. I look up and I know I won't get lost. Eachother's guide through this journey. When he says something I've already been thinking it ( Read more... )

Through my hazy, drunk recolation of last nights events, I can safely say this: don't humor drunk girls. Don't let them tell you all night long how beautiful you are and how much you remind them of them when they were your age. After 5 shots in about 12-14 minutes I was willing to humor the girl for about 20 minutes. After that, eh, not so much. ( Read more... )

Who's got pink eye? Emily's got pink eye.

Ingredients for an amazing Tuesdayganza:

-Tequilla
-Jameson
....it's about time I drink again.

Mondays don't make him happy. And I can't seem to make him smile.

Shitty St. Patricks day. I didn't drink ONE alcoholic beverage last night. And I'm half Irish.

1. How tall are you barefoot?
5'9.549"

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
Yes I have. And then I went swimming.

3. Do you own a gun?
I think the better question is DO YOU?

4. Have you ever been in Rehab?
Not yet!

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
Well of course I get nervous. But I know I'm the mothafuckin shit...so no worries.

6. What do ( Read more... )