I haven't felt compelled to write in this for a while. something about empty rooms is painful. i had flashbacks tonight to the beginning of the year. but now it's more than just being in this place alone. it's this girl that's missing. from this apartment, from my life, i cant stand the pain she's going through. i desperately want to help her ( Read more... )

my father's mother died at 7:20 this morning. it's strange to think that she's in the air. i saw her on sunday, she was a bit delusional and her eyes looked gray and cloudy like a blind person's eyes. i held her hand for a long time. i love her. i hope her and grandpa are together, and that they'll visit me in a dream one day soon and let me know ( Read more... )

saturday morning i was having the strangest dreams. i had a really great dream. i dreamt that whit and i had just returned from our trip, and we went to the cote's, and charlie was there - treatment had worked while we were gone, and he had a full head of hair, and i was playing with nick in the backyard in the cote's (non-existent) ubove-ground ( Read more... )

"according to aristotle, comedy grew out of improvisations of the leaders of phallic songs, but, because there were many phallic rites, it is unclear which he had in mind. the rites" (rituals performed by an entire tribe or group), "often included a procession with a chorus who sang and danced as they carried large phallic symbols aloft on poles ( Read more... )

well, my attempt to research menopause and share/learn more with my mother wasn't very successful. i got 3 books out of the library ( Read more... )

i was thinking about midlife crisis ( Read more... )

it's been really difficult for me to say as a sentence or even think as a thought ( Read more... )

dear diarrhea ( Read more... )

currently obsessed with bowie album : let's dance ( Read more... )

sometimes, i really, truly, honestly despise my brain ( Read more... )