if elephants could fly id be a little more optimistic

 i used to be a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good lover.
i used to be so many things.
and I thought I was self destructive. I thought about an underlying mental illness. I thought constantly.

and my independence and self assurance was all in an effort to grasp the happiness that eluded me.
but i am happy now

last year i was homeless ( Read more... )

there's something sick about powdered sugan after midnight. if you need powdered sugar at that hour, its for one of two reasons: first, it could be used to play a cruel joke on someone, or second, you are so completely baked that you mix it with a bit of water to satisfy a sweet tooth.

the latter of the two results in this particular stomach ache

 I am high enough to admit that my nightmares are haunted by thoughts of my wedding being ruined. that someone will ruin our day.because combined, we have enemies mentally ill enough to be so evil.  don't know how to stop it ( Read more... )

 cherish the morning cigarette as the sanity saver sent straight from the devil himself. with each subsequent inhale ever bad floats away in the cloud of smoke gently touching your head. as it disperses into the room you forget of its existence and simply focus on breathing ( Read more... )

too excited to explain but i'll do that later i promise.

I am engaged!
Engaged to Ian Moore
Engaged to the most beautiful man.

it's a thought i'll come ack to later

 all said and done this is going to be a lot of work when i can't believe it should be anything but effortless ( Read more... )

 that is a picture of my best friend. His name is sam or rather samuel kenneth schmid. and i still miss him every single hour ( Read more... )

moving
and i'm too tired to care.
work too much.play too much.
there has to be some sort of balance that eludes me or else i will simply continue to be a burnout.
it's not costing anything but my sanity i suppose.
but i'm convinced i hide it so well.

In the immediate I find the world beautiful in its entirety and its details.
And the err in jealous ways consumes,
that in its midst can be forseen
the danger that which looms.