Everytime you look at me scared
I close my eyes and face away
I'd rather you think I didn't care
then for you to see me cry this way

I was walking with a memory of you
Back when times werent complicated
but the fear comes back to you
and into the shadows you've retreated

I'm sorry I can't be what you wanted
That's one thing I can never be
A sigh of ( Read more... )

some say that love is blind.

In my case it must be comatose too. I dont know what's wrong with me or why I like the people I do. I try to see it from their point of view when the feeling isnt mutual, but today I must have reached the breaking point. I've never liked any person like I do now. About a year now. And this person knows who they are. Its ( Read more... )

well...my birthday was pretty lame.
call me the pessimist, but it just didnt feel like a birthday to me, much less my 18th. I just found myself wallowing in a sort of melancholia or something, i dont know how to explain it. Although there were the few people that seriously did make me smile and made my day. For one, Gerald told me "happy birthday" ( Read more... )

well prom was pretty fun. I hung out w some good friends, got to see everyone look great and all that jazz. Denise looked beauiful, and was one of the few girls who didnt have someone elses dress haha.  We ended up going to la villa for dinner before we went up there, and boy did they have a music selection. some good tunes there lol. we were like ( Read more... )

well today's mothers day. and like, since im not with my mom today it kinda got me thinking. out of alll the people that i talk to/kno, it seems like im the only one that actually "loves" my mom. not saying that ppl dont love their mom, but i think that for me its different. My mom is one of my  best friends, my protector, and so much more thats ( Read more... )

well yesterday I made my directorial debut. Jocker Janae and I put together a lil two part indie music video for The Cogent. In case you didnt kno. The Cogent is Jon and Emo's band. They needed some sort of material on their myspace, and as a band in general. So we did what we could. We went to the roof of this parking structure and were ( Read more... )

well for those who still havent heard. Break the Silence was so-so. It was good in that most people had a good time.Goodness was really a surface thing. Underneath/backstage is where all the drama happened. Start off Thursday night. I get a call saying that Dreams of REality dropped out, so i had to get another band to fill in the gap, and someone ( Read more... )

well tomoro is the day of silence for the fags n hags at CHS. alot of work for me and the other ppl that helped me (emo, emily and my wifey cece). last time i counted we had 38 ppl signed up to do this shit. omg thats alot. i dont kno how we're all gonna fit (where we eat lunch, if u see us then u kno how crowded it will be.) i pity the latinas lol ( Read more... )

well spring break was pretty lame. robbie came to visit me cuz bitch got a new car. he took me to staters so i could buy some pudding (the only good thing to come out of bill cosby). and then we went home and watched beauty shop cuz its a funny movie and it makes me laugh. i love fat black chicks, theyre so effin hilarious! and lets see what else ( Read more... )

Well...the pressure is on. Me and Gerald are gonna be in the talent show. So come on out March 30 to see me make an ass out of myself. I wrote another song in other news. I dunno, maybe today just isnt my day. I just feel kinda out of it. I want pudding. I wish I could go home and eat some. Godamn Bill Cosby...that fukin pudding is the only good ( Read more... )