my angel. my angel.

back back back.
always retreating.

i pray i never know another loss like the loss of your life.

i try. i want to be strong.
and most days i float.

i hate it that home floods me with waning days in the sun. stifled with smoke from your laughing mouth.

fuck. i cant remember the weight of your hand in mine.
i hate myself for the fading ( Read more... )

There's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons ( Read more... )

ive been alone lot lately. sometimes that gets to me. sometimes i go back to that. hole. the one i put myself in for so many years. undeserving ( Read more... )

my feelings fooling me.

the light sweeping over us in pulses.
my heart matching the rythym.
the fits of perfect night air
the weight of your hand on my leg
the heat of your cheek against my sticky lips

all so faultless in the moment
turning this ride into an unreliable memory upon recollection.

an inaccurate reference point.

ive had it ( Read more... )

per hannah vaughn.. who gave me strength to start.

Sobriety Check

Asked to join little Sally
In her self-induced sober rally
Because she escaped her fate
That vodka cranberry would be her nightly date
She eluded the cocaine trails
And elevated above her very own bed of nails
She has surprisingly surpassed
Everything that troubled her in her past
She began to ( Read more... )

there is so much in me. that wants to do .. so much.
but i know if i just let go.
it would be like an explosion. things going every which way. shrapnel.
and i think .
i couldnt live like that. and do what i want to do.
if i tasted that. latent freedom i know is inside of me.
i think there would always be that part of me that wanted it back.
that part ( Read more... )

Current mood:disgusted.betrayed.forgotten ( Read more... )

ive been coming to this realization. when i read books and go out of my comfort zone... and today my heart is in ny.. brought it into clear view ( Read more... )

every year. im torn between mourning the loss of her and celebrating her life ( Read more... )