Why do I always have to be the good friend?  Why can't I own up to how I really feel about the situation?  So many things are going so well in my life.  There is so much possibility available to me.  Why am I so restless?  And why the fuck do I keep loosing earrings?

Sometimes I do things just because I can.  This is my own form of rebellion.  And it hurt like a bitch ( Read more... )

Life throws quite a few curve balls, and I'm not entirely sure how to begin to phrase my thoughts ( Read more... )

What is it with guys from random points in my life all deciding to come out of the woodwork again?  Let's all catch up and sing kumbya and be happy like the past never happened.  The timing is what makes it most interesting of all, because after all, when it rains, it pours ( Read more... )

I keep trying to post, but I keep loosing my train of thought.

There are general meditations on the changing year and getting older and the difference a semester makes, etc.  Relationships forming and dying.  Self discovery.  Whatever the hell you want to call it.  Because well, everyone is doing it right now.

I've realized so much-- most ( Read more... )

Christmas was good to me this year, just in case anybody was wondering. It involved lots of family, a few mind boggling gifts, and me going crazy realizing that there is still a shit load of time before next semester starts.

I am intentionally refraining from meditating on the Christmas season and what it means to be home after a first semester. ( Read more... )

Sometimes I think that I'm dying slowly inside, rotting away quietly with no one noticing. Do I believe my own lies and buy into the image I have made for myself, or do I shrink further away into the shell and build up the rock hard exterior ( Read more... )

My worst fears are coming true in ways I'd never have imagined ( Read more... )

I think a little bit of self doubt is normal. I think it's okay to not always know what one is doing or if one is serious or just kidding one's self. But I still have no idea where that leaves me. Other than wanting to punch him in the face right now ( Read more... )

I know you don't like being alone with me. There is this palpable tension and a need to fill the silence with some menial small talk. Avoid the awkwardness. We don't talk about it because neither one of us has the words. So instead we do a dance of social niceties and over extend the bonds formed too fast for their own good and drink a drink or ( Read more... )