life is so confusing currently, mostly in regards to girls and relationships. there are 3 girls that i would say i'm attracted to. one of them just wants to be friends but maybe sees a relaitonship down the line, i think that's a lame excuse (girls don't say you just want to be friends right now, and get guys hopes up just to tear them down, just ( Read more... )

why are there so may people that are associated with my life who suck? seriously, like what's the attractiveness of getting drunk and being a jerk? what's the point of being "friends" with someone and being a jerk to them all the time? where do people get off just ignoring you for no apparent reason and thinking that you are mad at them when you ( Read more... )

"I have just returned from a party of which I was the life and soul; wit poured from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me -- but I went away -- and the dash should be as long as the world's orbit --------------------------------------- and wanted to shoot myself."
-Soren Kierkegaard

so, here i am again, after a long absence from el jay. i guess there isn't much that i feel like posting on here, i can't really talk about stuff that i'mdealing with right now, because of the other people who have access to this. i don't feel lik i can talk about stuff that i miss from home, or from poland or anything else that's really important ( Read more... )

ok what's with all these anonymous people commenting on my last post. are you too ashamed that you don't want to let anyone know who you are? what happened to "I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ"? if this is what you believe and are telling me then why are you hiding who you are. to me that seems like you are an even smaller person than ( Read more... )

the following two paragraphs are from an old post that i was just reading through, it's amazing how cyclical emotions and situations are. this is still so true and totally how i feel. take it or leave it i really don't care ( Read more... )

today is my 20th birthday, no more being a teenager. looking back what have i missed out on, skipped over, missed, lost, gained from being a teen. quite a bit in each of those i think. i guess this is just to say happy birthday me, it is a day of celebration and a day to mourn the death of the teenage version of myself.

Plastic bags are the lungs i don't have ( Read more... )

There's a saltwater film on the jar of your ashes, i threw them to sea but a gust blew them backwards. and the sting in my eyes that you then inflicted, was par for the course just as when you were living. it's no stretch to say you were not quite a father but a doner of seeds to a poor single mother that would raise us alone we never saw the ( Read more... )

OH MY WORD, everyone, i havnt talked to you in a long time. a few things i want to say ( Read more... )