I wrote last night and it felt good to create. My thots nudged me in my sleep until I stumbled around for pen and paper. I just scribbled down thot after thot and maybe it was still-born but I loved it anyway. I don't think I'm getting better, I just think I'm getting use to this feeling of never making it "good enuff." I struggle for the perfect ( Read more... )

Yesterday was shitty. Sometimes I get why people are put into our lives...sometimes I don't. Lisa's party was wonderful...one of those memories you want to keep forever and chew on when your heart feels heavy or your soul feels hungry. A really great friendship is blooming right in front of my eyes. When I think about that, I get happier. It's hard ( Read more... )

I feel like new seeds of inspiration are being planted inside of me...the harvest is coming.
Safe journey,
Kristen

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. When we ( Read more... )

I'm having one of those weeks where I'm just feeling very overwhelmed. I just want to lay in my bed and write or fill my head with literature that is sure to inspire. It's like driving with no real destination. The book is the album that I listen to as I drive and get lost. I just vibe with the words and shut out the world ( Read more... )

Please forgive my tardiness on updating my journal. It seems like whenever I run into people the first things out of their mouth are "You haven't been on live journal recently." I've been here, hiding on the pages of other people's journals. Commenting and telling people that I miss them and love them. I've been manically busy what with my personal ( Read more... )

School is starting soon and I won't be amongst my friends and NMEs to say hello. I won't get hugs and smiles, stares and glares, notes and gossip. I saw my friend Maura and it felt so good to know that I'm remembered...even if by only a few. I didn't/don't talk much and I like to keep to myself so those that did get close are close forever ( Read more... )

I can't stop thinking about my polluted little zombie. I keep him tucked away in the back of my mind but he keeps crawling to the front somehow. I wish that I could push my fingers in and pull him out but I worry that I might bleed to death. It's the same with everyone I meet...I can't let them go. I need them ( Read more... )

Everything's been pretty bad lately. I've been trying to turn it into something good. Turning all the confusion into something beautiful. Trying to cannabolize my pain and fears. Shred my brain in search of the happiness. It's painful but I know that I'm gonna be ok. I'm just lost ( Read more... )

I had a dream that everything in my life was coming undone. When I awoke I found that it wasn't a dream at all. I'm scared, ugly, tired, failing, fucked up and different. It'll be better...I'm digging myself out. Maybe just not fast enough. Even now as I hear the musical remedy of the pounding of the keys as I type, I feel like I need to fade into ( Read more... )