Perfect, blissful memories had been blocked out by depression,pain and trauma in my life and through meditation I found some more this morning.I couldnt sleep when I got in from work, too many unwanted images in my head.My little brother never talks to me, that upset me.I say hey evryday and he ignores any offer of conversation.His uniform was ( Read more... )

I must learn not to hate myself for what I let myself be, I have achieved so much in the last few months, turning myself into someone I myself,would like to get to know. Its been so hard to accept myself and Im not going to turn my back on me now.But I cant resist that sinking feeling ( Read more... )

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The other night I was heavily stoned and was letting my mind wander.I began thinking of long lost childhood memories..events Id completely forgotten had happened when I came across one memory.It was when I was a child,ranging from when I was 8 perhaps till 9 and it was an unexplainable crime that should never have happened.I had never looked at ( Read more... )

I fell asleep last night avidly watching the 22 bright northern lights as the graced past the Dublin skies to Celbridge.Idylicly beautiful,I have precious memories of Alan and I gazing up several times in between kissing in awe ( Read more... )

I finished work on Thursday morning at 8AM and heres how my crappy/happy weekend went ( Read more... )

The lump was worse this morning..both in my throat and on my back.I painfully hobbled up the road this morning and into the shower and sobbed.After some reading up on possibilites it looks like it could be an ingrown hair,or fluid that needs to be drained.Ive had it a long time and its only just balooned and started to hurt recently and thats why ( Read more... )

I have a lump on the side of the tail bone of my spine and its so fucking sore and big and now its hurting to sit down at all,Im so fuckin sick of shit!Ive weighed down all possibilites..(1)an infection? (2) fluid ? (3) A LUMP ?! Whatever the fuck it is I hope its not linked to all these blackouts and dizzy spells Ive been getting,I joked there a ( Read more... )

After I sat up from my last entry a horrible lump in my throat lodged and I choked my way to 8am this morning,walked home wih no coat from the town and when I got in the tears the lump just exploded in my throat and I sobbed like a fuckin child.I couldnt find my smokes,mum had my dope...I just erupted and havnt done that in a while,I think its ( Read more... )

Been away for a long time,had no log on in work so Ive been tormented with nothing to do on 12 hour shifts.One of the cows I work with logged me on tonight so,I guess that was her way of saying sorry for being a bitch to you.Ive been kept busy by my boy, he took me away to Carlingford and Edenderry for two nice nights away(how I love my escape) and ( Read more... )