Last night I sat at my brother’s grave, wrapped in blankets, with a gun to my head. I am in so much pain and can’t rid myself of this anxiety and depression..then the sun started coming up. It was so peaceful there..I had no sense of anything but calm being surrounded my hundreds of dead people. It felt like where I should be. I don’t know how Jim ( Read more... )

I need to say that I fell to my knees on multiple occasions in each and every day, praying to god that the baby inside of me would be healthy ( Read more... )

Well doing good....not doing the sober thing anymore but I did get a year under my belt. Lately just been working in a great restaurant as a server and of course online as dominatrix. Been having fun but wondering what I want to do with my life. Miss all of you! Hope everyone is alive! I'm so much healthier it is almost gross!

 Hi everyone! Been a long time ( Read more... )

I don't want to make my entries private...(I haven't been ( Read more... )

The inspiration for this entry came from my cats (Kooshka and Elmo) both are presumed to be dead. Elmo has been missing for over a week - while making signs for her last weekend my mom broke the news to me that Kooshka had been missing from her ex boyfriend's house since May ( Read more... )

Once again I'm writing to announce that I (am/have) quit using meth....This time is different, if nothing more ( Read more... )

"I'm going to be okay....it's weird 'cause stuff happens and you don't really notice it while it's happening...Life is sort of passing by.."  -Spun
That quote sums up my (approximately) 2 years and 4 months of daily methamphetamine use.

I'm DONE with it.

This is the LAST time I will hold a meth pipe between my fingers as I type.

I HATE meth and I ( Read more... )

I slept for 17 hours but throughout that i got up and ate so much. I really need to stop eating so much. Now that I am out of my mom's house, it's been much harder to control my eating. I think it's subconciously me trying to comfort myself because I miss home so much. Whenever I don't feel good...Whenever I am sad or depressed or feel "off".... ( Read more... )

I'm going up north to pick up. Everything about it is different than it usually is. Its 4 am, different place, more people, why am i doing this again?