i think my luck may have run out

W: 174

making 0 cal soup al a weight watchers and cream of cauliflower and broccoli soup

i want to get so skinny that my dad says "omg ilsa you need to eat something" instead of "oh well at least you will loose weight" or "are you eating AGAIN?!"

Forget Regret or life is yours to miss

i couldn't talk to you because you are the one person i can't lie to, and i am too embarrassed to tell you the truth cause i know what you would say and whats worse is i know that you are right but i just don't feel it right now

doesn't know why its so hard for me

i just can't trust

FML

i don't know if they will read this but as my journal i fell like i should be able to say it, i have had 2 friends habve abortions this year alone, it kind freaks me out

it makes me not want to have sex like ever/until i am married

and then i think about how in love i am with every boy and its hard

is it weird that i feel worse when men DON'T objectufy me? like if thay aren't in it for sex then i just don't know what to do

i wish i wasn't so laid back so that I could meet someone I absolutely loathe and then we would have awesome hate sex and then realize we have been fighting so much because we are actually in love with each other.

sigh, that sounds fun, maybe i will start being more of a bitch to guys

could definitely write a bad romance

I want to work out right now, why am i not tired? this is ridiculous!