this is me, its all i got. trying to be someone im not doesnt work and its not worth it for anyone or anything.

today and tonight were good. no details tho, too bad. all i can say is that at times i felt so lost and a feeling of despair was floating around in my mind. all i did was lie to the people that care, it sucks and im sorry you guys. espically doug and nicole.

im never going to get what i want if im like this.

umm.. school was splendtaculous for reasons i dont want to type. filled out my college forms for the last time hopefully. went to dmv, got fucked over there, gotta go back tmrw, or technically today. almost got stranded at adult school. it wasnt even funny. i had to use the quarter off my key chain to call colee and she was at dinner so she ( Read more... )

umm cheesecake at carls jr. with colee and kevin made my day. i suck at skateboarding. i threw a small fit.

why do such bad things happen to such good people? seeing the ambulance and fire truck outside was bad, but to imagine seeing your sister no breathing and blue is horrible. the closest i came to losing my sis was her crazy seasure (?spelling?). that was scary enough. best of hope to goes out to simons sister and his family..

umm.. today was shitty, quite the day i dont like, but the weather was nice, its what i really love about cali. live and die. i wish i could write why i didnt like today, but.. well fuck it. its stupid anyways. i dont even know why my mind drifts like that, i need to find something to keep me 100% occupied so my mind wont drift. k, well, fuck ( Read more... )

school was odd again, i did my fucking work, thats 2 days in a row. maybe i just want to be on track and do good. whatever it is, it feels good. filmed more for psych project.. learned first hand tennis is boring. watched some riding of the 50 and started the short task of editing the project. it took 3 hours, which is nothing really, which is ( Read more... )

umm.. i had oreo cheescake for breakfast after bowling today. i wore girl pants. we filmed for the psych. project again. today was alright. still thinking about the prom thing. and things are different now, like i did half of my homework last night, it was insane, and i took notes in both econ and english instead of sleeping like i wanted. it feels ( Read more... )

::GULP:: that was me swallowing my pride cuz the used is on my ipod now.. i dont think a fucking psychic could have seen this one coming... oh man. ok so school was boring. filmed most of the adv. psych video today, it was fucking funny. then went to carls jr to get food and oreo cheescake, and let me tell you, thats some good stuff, im glad ( Read more... )

so today i did nothing. well i made nicole a birthday card!! it was fun. then i went to kevins and did nothing. it was quite the exitable day today, the highlight being making the cards. ok, im tired, bye ( Read more... )