LJ Idol Season 11: Week 22 - Write-off Open Topic

[encrefloue]

In us, the status

In this, the stasis-

the blithely unblemished birthmarks

that conduct rituals in our blind spots,

that weave their mourning hegemony

(their morning testimony

of our sorcery,

of our dereliction,

of our charming fallacies)

into heraldic necklaces-

each bead sewn onto fledgling, puffy breaths

that coil around our tongues

like lovers we never

Comments

[alycewilson]

Fascinating poem contemplating mortality and the nature of being alive as both a spirit and a body.

[karmasoup]

Every breath taken in this age is Schroedinger's gasp. Keep this safe. Use it as an artistic record for posterity, when your progeny inquires about what living through this was like.

[tonithegreat]

What a gorgeous poetic comment!

[rayaso]

I really enjoyed this. There was a certain playfulness in the words that was especially good.

[marlawentmad]

Poetry feels like a cool drink of water. I particularly liked this part:
each bead sewn onto fledgling, puffy breaths
that coil around our tongues
like lovers we never intended to bed,
or lies we never intended to birth,
and that similarly leave us
wooed,
subdued,
alive,
asphyxiated...

[flipflop_diva]

You are always so great with words and imagery. This is such a fascinating piece, and I've found myself reading it over again and again.