as much as i love going to sleep at 4 am and waking up four hours later every day.
i hate it.

and as much as i loved sitting at home tonight and doing nothing.
i hated it.

and as much as i would like to say i know why.
i can't.

i didn't even know who to call. it's hard to at this point.

and it almost lasted a year, and i wonder if it is gone

all i want to do is unknown. all i want to be is unseen. i love music, but i don't love it as much as i once did. i love doing things for people but have little experience. it seems that in both of these i will not have security and be living month to month, and i really don't mind. i do know i hate being in school. i do know i really enjoy ( Read more... )

so today i got to see what i believe the best band of all time is.
queen.
and it was free.
and they only played two shows in america.

although it wasn't as good as i hoped.
i still saw queen.

someone once anonymously left me a comment that said this once:
"invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple. what an invention you are ( Read more... )

seeing underoath and thrice tonight was awesome.
i have missed those dudes.
it made me miss this summer a lot.
plus other factors... why can't it be two months ago?

1. Where did we meet ( Read more... )

sigur ros was the most amazing thing i have ever seen
2 hours of awesome.

i guess i just hold friendships to a higher standard, and that used to be reciprocated more often. and now i have less people in my life than i would care for, and that i care for.

used to being friends because we used to be friends.

i need a job.

with too much pride to admit loneliness and too many inconsistencies that mar my malcontent, it is invariably true that both exist. each incandescent night plagues me as i sift through remembrances of past. i miss how we were and yet i don't know if i want it back. or maybe just that certain thing back. i need something, or someone, or anything ( Read more... )

I wrote this about my trip to Texas, then realized I wish I was a much better writer: http://pastepunk.com/viewcolumn.php?id=180Read more... )