don’t forget you’re bones and skin

[ladygawain]

summary: Bonnie and Jeremy deal with things after a fashion.
warnings: self-harm, suicide, substance abuse, violence, sex.
rating: high R/m
note: Written for the TVD Smutathon, softly_me's prompt, Bonnie/Jeremy, i'm alive, you understand? alive alive alive, (and also partially for a prompt I saw in the Adult Theme Ficathon that I’ve now lost). This isn’t as ‘

Comments

[upupa_epops]

OMG THIS.

I love the way you depict Bonnie's hunger for power, and the way Jeremy's suicidal streak plays with it. The mood is incredible, you gave me chills. The changes of POV from scene to scene work wonders, and the frame, GUH.

I think I just started shipping Bonnie/Jeremy. Please, break my heart more often.

[ladygawain]

HEE, good.

That is all I want. I feel like the strongest times I've shipped these two is when she killed him and he let her. WHAT. Or that time he wanted her to channel him. Or that time he presented his hand so she could cut it. Like there's a pattern here and I like it (I am horrible person because of it, lol).

Ah, thank you thank you thank you, I'm glad the mood and the pov shifts work because I am deathly afraid of people's heads. And I rarely look closely into Jeremy's.

Come and join us. Too bad the show won't take these two to their most depressing conclusion--because it could be endlessly satisfying to watch.

[upupa_epops]

Yes, I was weirdly fascinated by the "he let her kill him" scene. One of the good things about TVD is that it has some male characters (like Jeremy or Damon) who are openly drawn to women with power. Because power is hot. Jeremy is obviously attracted to the fact that Bonnie can do things he can't do.

Yep, definitely starting to ship it.

POV shifts are HELL to write, I am aware :(. But you did an excellent job here!

[ever_neutral]

YO.

This is delightfully disturbing and erotically so (what), and Bonnie/Jeremy at their best tbh. I appreciate it. Your Bonnie is parfait as always, every line, you know how I feel. Carry on with your ways.

[ladygawain]

LO (couldn't resist tbh)

Thank god, this is all I wanted. I appreciate that you appreciate it :). Thank you, thank you. If I can stop being so lazy.

[pocochina]

yessss.

[ladygawain]

*hugs*

[softly_me]

Oh, wow, perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better fill. Your Bonnie is flawless (obviously), but you also do such a job with Jeremy, taking him from the canon constraints and giving him such depth and pain and complexity. This ship just took on a life of it's own here. I love the idea of Bonnie indulging in her power, digging into her darker self and letting Jeremy see it.

There’s a dark, dangerous smile on her mouth and he presses his fingers into her hips. The words she’s saying, the careless way she says them, shouldn’t make him this hot-but they do.

Like this here. The way she's so drunk on her power, so turned on by how much he trusts her. And Jeremy so helplessly drawn to her because she's a danger to him, because coming that close to death is the fix for an addict like him. (And because Jeremy falls for girls who could rip him apart.)

The one thing she’d set her mind to and it was all for nothing. She’d failed.I love this image of Bonnie drawing a line around Elena's life. They've lost so much, but she sunk

[ladygawain]

Ahh, thank you /o\ - I'm so glad this worked for you.

This ship just took on a life of it's own here.
\o/ all I could ask for!!!

The way she's so drunk on her power, so turned on by how much he trusts her. And Jeremy so helplessly drawn to her because she's a danger to him, because coming that close to death is the fix for an addict like him. (And because Jeremy falls for girls who could rip him apart.)

Yes this entirely. Like, this ship has really great ingredients - the show isn't quite sure what to do with it but it's just so there.

I love this image of Bonnie drawing a line around Elena's life. They've lost so much, but she sunk her feet into the ground and refused to lose her best friend too. Not that any of her refusal changed a thing. It also really makes their quiet lives post-Elena's-transition all the more tragic. Maybe things would have quieted down a lot sooner if Bonnie had just let Elena die earlier, maybe she could have spared everyone so much pain and anguish if she weren't so stubborn.It's one of my favourite

[angryzen]

And it'll make Bonnie wonder, wonder about all those months spent looking up spells, almost killing herself to save, treading into really ambiguous waters etc. etc. and then, guess what? Life happens, and they just go on. What was she fighting so hard for, in the end? Obsessed with what it'll do to her to have to carve out a different sense of purpose all her own.

It's super sad. I wish the writers would sit down and think about this character and realize this and write her season 4 journey accordingly. Because we've already said that Bonnie can't completely deal with the "Life goes on philosophy," not for major things like this. Narducci is the only one who could make sure this was explored, but he's not an executive producer.

[angryzen]

I don't know what to say! I already flailed and wrote meta on Skype, lol.

I still love everything about this fic

She lifts his stiff, clammy fingers up to her breasts, and murmurs breathlessly, "Good, so good."

I do realize that Bonnie's touching herself with Jeremy's mostly dead hands, and this fact is almost secondary to her? Because she's feenin' from the rush of power she just experienced: from the magic working in her body and flowing out, to Jeremy being the perfect trusting subject and coming close to death like she wants him to and then coming back to life. So the "Good, so good" referring to his (mostly dead) hands on her is almost secondary to everything that lead to him being mostly dead.

*Crying about it*

And thanks for the shoutout!

[ladygawain]

ilu

thank you!!!!!

YES. YES THIS. I have to say that writing this fic made me realise that I have a serious necrophilia problem. I won't say fetish but. So I took particular pleasure in those stiff, clammy fingers and how much it's NOT to or about Jeremy but this messed up thing between them and how good it makes her feel, and about Bonnie (who is quite fucked up). Lol, I ship this so terribly though. I can't even be embarrassed.

Ha, always.