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Mini-vacay, post break up
Home in ep, watching gossip girl again on Netflix, reminiscing on old times with Tessa, and rethinking my life choices. Rejection has always been hard for me and years of self-preservation and a superficial high self esteem has not helped. It's been about a month, and realistically I haven't been handling it well. There's something about getting ( Read more... ) -
It's a little bit funny
I hate the sadness. I know it's the gateway to nothingness. But after the sadness comes the anger, the real anger. I feel fury, I feel hate, I feel wrath. It's comforting. It's not petty, it's not insecure, it's not shy, it's pure unquestionable rage, which logically is not to be trusted, but I love it when it does strike. I love the need to strike ( Read more... ) -
Thanksgiving
It's coming up. I usually go home but I can't afford the time to go, my best friend has a boyfriend and family to visit, my boyfriend isn't going to invite him to his plans and I'm all alone in the middle of nowhere. I feel like this will just mark the beginning of a lonely time ahead. If I'm lucky maybe I'll spend it with coworkers or something. I ( Read more... ) -
Heartbreak
I used to think that the one thing constant in my life would always be my best friend. I know that even considering constants to exist in this world is a ridiculous notion, but I felt it in my soul. And now my heart is breaking knowing that my soul mate will not be with me anymore. I am so happy that he will be chasing his dreams, that took him ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Uhm I love beautiful blond a girls, what can I say? I may be drunk and all, but at the end of the day, I love my blonde girls who understand means shiz...
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pointless
What's the point of being appreciated if there's no love? What's the point of relationships and friendships if the people you care about the most are too lost in their self-created problems to notice you? Whats the point of hating the only place you're accepted and needed? What the hell is the point of fighting the darkness when no one around ( Read more... ) -
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I wonder...have I actually grown any in the last couple of years? Have I really learned anything? I find myself back in the comfort of Applebee's scenarios and relaxed drinking and think to myself...I would've been done with my hw and in bed by now if I was more driven. What is motivation anyways? I get to work and all my classes on time, I'm ( Read more... ) -
It's a Wednesday
Nothing exciting going on here. Peace and quiet are only relieving for a little while, then they get to be infinite and slightly suffocating. I need to get up and shower and clean but I just want to lay in the stillness and stop time. At least I did some homework. I hate that it took me so long to find my motivation to do well in class, but I know ( Read more... ) -
life
So it looks like I'll be getting my degree in a year. I was planning on 2 more years but I messed up along the way so I'll have an associates next summer hopefully. I still want a bachelors afterwards, an associates means little in my field, as far as moving up in the corporate world. This is hard...50 hour work weeks topped with school and a ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Off to euphoria in new braunfels... First rave in almost a year and never been more ready
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