Comments | enragedfetus: in which jon is overwhelmed by the urge to kill

enragedfetus

in which jon is overwhelmed by the urge to kill

Mar 29, 2006 00:37

It was huge. It was moving across the top of the wall opposite me, a mobile, brown stain on all that is domestic and familiar. I don't remember when my revulsion toward large, winged insects was programmed into me; it was probably wired somewhere between ancestral DNA and the poolside wasp attack when I was five. While I regard the prejudicial ( Read more... )

Comments 10

arrestthisman March 29 2006, 09:12:58 UTC

!

...

!

perfectkaos March 29 2006, 15:33:40 UTC

WD40 dissolved insect carapaces.... true story

bard_messiah March 29 2006, 16:15:29 UTC

Jon Kaplan:

I love you.

enragedfetus March 31 2006, 08:09:20 UTC

I'll recruit for your cult if you recruit for mine.

thejoshu March 29 2006, 19:09:43 UTC

That's my boy! Doin' the writin' & stuff!

lilylivered March 30 2006, 00:15:23 UTC

FUCK ROACHES. They don't pay fucking rent, therefore they are trespassing, and you have every right to KILL the nasty little fuckers. Call me prejudiced. I won't argue!!!

I have a few really, really terrible cockroach stories.

Like the time I found literally dozens, maybe hundreds of roaches hiding beneath the wallpaper border in the shower. (I pulled the wallpaper off and sprayed about an entire can of roach killer.) This was in my apartment which was ONE FLOOR ABOVE a fucking GROCERY STORE, no less.

Or the time my friend Steve whacked a HUGE cockroach with his shoe and the guts sprayed fifteen feet across the room onto my face and arm.

Yeah.

FUCK ROACHES. KILL THE FREELOADING BASTARDS.

enragedfetus March 31 2006, 08:08:07 UTC

If possible, I'd like for you to describe (or post a picture of) the face you made when you became thoroughly cognizant that what was on your face was, in fact, insect organ smoothie. I see it as a thousand-yard stare of complete dissociation, followed a couple seconds later by flailing and general face-wiping freakout.

Consider spritzing on some Aunt Jemima and turning the moment into a user icon. ( ! )