six ¬ video

[enterpainment]

[Here is Jamie in a sea of aprons-- no, that is not an exaggeration. Jamie doesn't exactly know how to not be an annoying shopper, which is proven by the fact that the shop assistant is glaring at him in the background of the feed. Jamie doesn't seem to notice.]

You know, I never thought funny aprons were so popular... well, they are a lot more

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[veritaphobia]

[ A LONG SILENCE. Then, with only the mildest suspicion - ]

Possibly they steal it by showing up on aprons.

[enterpainment]

[There's no need for suspicion of any kind, Alan!]

But they are quite adorable. I'd be more suspicious of the monkeys, personally.

[veritaphobia]

Why--have you ever been involved in monkey business, Jamie?

[enterpainment]

[Jamie laughs at that. Oh, lame puns, they never get old.] I've been caught up in it a few times, sadly. It drives me bananas.

[unweighty]

I believe the pink and frilly would suit you best. If you're going to go for silly, you might as well abandon that idea and go for something a bit more effective.

[enterpainment]

Pink and frilly? [... slightly affronted!] Well, the apron's not actually for me... if I was going to get an apron, I'd go for a fireproof kind.

[Jamie looks thoughtful.] But pink and frilly could always be an option. It is better than the monkeys.

[He's sure Alan would love it. :|]

[unweighty]

Perhaps a lady friend? Even better.

[enterpainment]

[Jamie laughs.] No, not for a lady friend. I don't really have lady friends. Well, obviously I do talk to people who happen to be ladies, but not in the... lady friend way.

[brobeforehos]

"Warning, dangerous chef".

[enterpainment]

It would need one of those danger signs, too. [It'd probably be better if Jamie used a hazmat suit whenever he attempted cooking, really...] But the apron's for Alan. He's not really a very dangerous chef, unless actually being able to cook is considered dangerous.

[brobeforehos]

He can be pretty dangerous - makes some mean dinners and all. If it's for Alan, it'd probably be the second one you mentioned.

He does live with us.

[enterpainment]

That's true. Bad things seem to happen whenever we go into the kitchen. Maybe we should call it the Crawford Curse.

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[otpurr]

You should get the one with the kitty!

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[enterpainment]

With a kitty? [Hmm.] Well, they are cuter than monkeys. I am also relatively certain they don't speak, see or hear evil.

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[otpurr]

I don't think they do, either! Kitties are purrhaps the bestest thing evfur.

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[enterpainment]

They are much less terrifying than dogs, that's true.

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[7thborn]

Probably safest not to underestimate those penguins.

[Pause.]

Do they have any "kiss the cook" ones? You could always add in a "don't" if you want to be dramatic.

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[enterpainment]

They do seem rather shifty, what with their dastardly sanity-stealing ways.

[Jamie looks around in his sea of aprons and-- success! Manages to find one of those "kiss the cook" ones.]

Oh, right. The "kiss the cook" ones are traditional, aren't they? I think there's thousands of them lying around. [Because Jamie doesn't know how to shop sensibly, derp.]

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[7thborn]

They'll sneak up on you if you aren't careful.

[Ginny laughs, shrugging even though he can't see her.]

I expect they're traditional, yeah. I see them in shops, sometimes. Is there, er, a special occasion you need aprons for?

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[enterpainment]

At least they would probably take a while doing their sneaking, since they can't waddle very fast.

[Well, according to movies he's watched, anyway.]

Not really a special occasion. It's just that my roommate does all the cooking because my sister and I are hopeless, so it's meant to be a sort of show of gratitude. [Pause.] But it'd be cool to pick one with a funny saying.