updates and stuff ( Read more... )

I've kind of really checked out. I don't know when I became this selfish or self-centered. I don't think I was always like this. I keep talking about autonomy and trying to look out for myself, but maybe it is just me being selfish. My mother started yelling at me this morning about cleaning up and being around and how there's a crisis going on and ( Read more... )

My dad's back home. They basically stuffed him off and told him to go to Sloan-Kettering. Even though they're not SURE he has cancer. They gave him fentanyl patches ( Read more... )

My dad's in the hospital. He has a tumor on or near his spine. They think his cancer from 2004 metastasized ( Read more... )

Gonna cry about how fat/ugly I am and then go to sleep. Maybe.

Or watch Mad Men. Or something.

I stopped going to therapy. I think I should go back.

I don't know.

ugh.

I need to get the fuck out of this family.

They're all crazy. And threatening to my sanity.

Ugh.

I still kinda want short hair ( Read more... )

Terrible dream. Friend I'm fighting with tormented me verbally. I fainted. Was made to go to the doctor and write down the three things that made me saddest in life.

Woke up with a line of poetry or song and I can't remember where it's from.

And a bruise above my eye.

I couldn't sleep until 5am.

I had a dream about Rob and it was horrible. I dream about him on a semi-regular basis and it's always horrible. He's always either ignoring me, hurting me, or trivializing our past together. And this is every time I dream about him.

ugh.