[meta]: rape and responsibility

[epistolic]

Today, as I was scrolling my way through Tumblr, I came across a blog called Women Against Feminism. Being curious, I clicked on the blog, and was instantly baffled by the multitude of things being discussed and derided by these women. Some of these attitudes are just so confusing, such as this one:

Comments

[nausicaa83]

One time I was with a group of female friends, happily chatting, and a woman walked by with a very revealing dress, and they all commented "well, she's asking for it, amirite" "she shouldn't wear that if she doesn't want to be raped" and so on. I was disgusted and appalled.

Not to mention they couldn't even know if any of us who'd stayed silent had been raped in the past. They were saying those horrible things and being incredibly insensitive in the same breath. And they were all women! I was shocked.

When I was a kid it was my dad who taught me about feminism, consent, and everything. I grew up and realized he was the odd voice in a choir of people, man and women, who treat the female body as an object, a commodity. So very depressing. =_=

[epistolic]

Yeah, I agree. I think the problem with quite a lot of feminists is that they focus on attacking male perception only - whereas female perception, as a result of the way society has been constructed, is also a huge part of the problem. And how will men ever respect women when we won't respect ourselves?

[carolinelamb]

Femina feminae lupa est :(

[epistolic]

:(((((((

[denorios]

Ugh. There is not enough NOPE in the world.

It saddens me that women can hold this kind of opinion about other women, that they can lack any trace of self-awareness. It just kind of reinforces my belief that these days we don't need men to oppress us, we're doing just fine oppressing and shaming ourselves.

[epistolic]

I think a lot of the time when this sort of thing happens... women are just not really aware of the issues. Like, they haven't necessarily thought it through properly. Back before I was exposed to all the discussion on Tumblr about these issues, I probably would've victim-shamed too, just purely out of ignorance, and not really out of any viciousness. And I guess it's always more difficult to hold a point of view that is considered new, or fresh, or different; and society has gotten so used to holding this oppressive view that we, as women, have gotten used to it too...

(sorry if this seems like it's coming outta nowhere, I lurk)

[tsukinochiyuki]

I feel like even the idea of blaming the victim for rape is confusing... It's like, 'that man did not have enough restraint to prevent himself from violating a person' >>> 'haha it's that person's fault because of the way s/he looks'

It's just like you said on the whole stealing thing!

Regarding that blog in general though, I can kinda see where some of these women are coming from because feminism does get a really bad rep, especially from some of those SJWs who attack but really have no basis for their angry rants. There are self-proclaimed 'feminists' who devalue the experiences of others to try and always look right, and don't seem to remember that feminism, at it's core is supposed to be for the advancement of equality of gender, not 'crush the patriarchy i hate all men and you're x race so you don't count'. And misguided stuff like that really seems to fuel the equally misguided backlash and bulk of the posts on the 'why I don't need feminism page'.

(not at all! I love meeting/chatting with new people <3)

[epistolic]

Yeah it doesn't actually make a lot of sense. Every person has an ability to make their own decision, based on what their principles are, and how they weigh up a situation. Just because something is there in front of you, does not make it right for you to decide to take it.

I have definitely seen a lot of strange feminist attacks in the past - I was saying to a friend just yesterday that I think the problem is that, once you get really bogged down in radical feminism, you forget that the main point of feminism is offering the same choices and opportunities to women as are offered to men. And then you let them choose. You don't judge them on their choices. Feminism is about opportunities, not about making the decision which you believe the woman should've made. So things like, oh, feminism will judge me for choosing to quit my job in order to raise kids - that is a mistaken idea of what feminism is! Feminism isn't about that. Feminism is about saying: you have a choice in doing whatever you want; nobody should have the right to force

[heavenly_rain]

I can't even get past the first page...

I'm not surprised that these women don't fully understand what feminism is. Even in my workplace I have to constantly remind people that without feminism the majority of the staff wouldn't even have their jobs!

I assume these women are in a position of privilege that they refuse to see anyone else's point of view?

[epistolic]

It's definitely an issue most people don't realise or choose to ignore because it's inconvenient... and yeah. A lot of these women emphasise themselves, and their experience; I have never been raped/objectified/sexually harassed/in any way personally affected by sexism, therefore it doesn't exist and feminism is bullshit. Which, er. Is faulty thinking.