I have been reading posts from 2004. I must admit that I was a lot more eloquent then. I was also naive. I used to want love, and I used to trust, I used to get off on shock value and teasing. I used to get excited, I used to be thoughtful, and smart, and untainted ( Read more... )

I am nothing but bad memories. I am a product of dispute, violence, rage, resentment, and everywhere I go that is what I find. All I do is remind people of that. So I guess I am alone, I can't bear to keep seeing people suffer because of me.

The hardest thing about growing up that I have encountered thus far is leaving those people that aren't "good" for you behind. I have been put in a situation where I have to analyze my friends and aquaintances as well as myself, and decided what I really want for myself, and who is a negative influence. I have made a mental list of the people ( Read more... )

I haven't updatred this in a long time. I take it that no one really reads this anymore; myspace has taken over.

life sucks; it all sucks. nihilist anyone?

I find myself locked in a room with myself.
I claw at the door,
I claw at the window
In hopes of being heard.
Nobody does.
Nobody can;
They don't understand what I say.
I am just a madman;
Nobody cares.
Nobody can save me from me.

Inspired by Little J, who told me something that I already knew, but refused to accept.

My sister attacked me with a knife tonight. I can't believe it; she almost killed me. I have to move out of this house.

I am having to view myself in a new light. Many things that I never expected to become or do, I have. Things such as being a smoker, or a drinker, or a recreational drug user. It is an interesting experience.

I am moving to LA on Sunday.

I feel so bored with my life. Everything that I do is boring, even the things I once found exciting, aren't anymore. Ugh!

OH well, porn will have to suffice for right now.