no update in a while. stomach problems persist, and the headaches are coming more often with all the stress at work. boring ta orientation this week. nothing else really new, just bumming around the new place trying to get everything in order and find my place. hopefully things will calm down and i'll be able to relax a little more. whee ( Read more... )

ok, so it might not be the end of my college career. we'll see what happens with funding, but i'm making progress on a project. i've finally figured out that i shouldn't bother talking to my actual advisor about my project, rather i should talk to two of the post-docs in our group. it seems my advisor is just there to sign paperwork and tell us ( Read more... )

nothing like having your funding threatened to make you feel alone. man, what a shitty way to end a day. so i'm up at 2am fretting because i feel that i have no options or alternatives, no saftey net. honestly i do, but at times like this rational thought isn't exactly the order of the day. i'm trying not to freaak out but given my track record ( Read more... )

raze without leaving rubble
rape without leaving a victim
shatter without leaving a shard
cut without leaving a scar
only words, words only

"sell me down the river"

moving is pretty much done. still going through stuff and trying to weed a little out. so much stuff. party happening this weekend, we'll see how it goes. still dehydrated from camping, but that's ok. i should be asleep, but i can't seem to pass out. ah well oh well ( Read more... )

ok, another brief update ( Read more... )

small but effective update ( Read more... )

sounds about right.

hinekuru ( Read more... )

thoguhts of suicide still float around. no real stress in my life, no real problems. it's just sort of there, like it always is. most people have a little voice telling them the difference between right and wrong. i have one telling me how much better it would be if i were dead. how odd it must seem from the outside. maybe it'll get better ( Read more... )