Moar Editz! Wheeeeee!!!!

[ertworks]

Hay there, everybahdy!!! If you wish to sharpen your red pens and take a stab at my second draft here, I would be ever so grateful! Thanks again to all those who mercifully put down that first draft. It deserved to die.

Comments

[northernflights]

"I found a few months after I quite"

"I have a want" feels awkward to me, and I think it might feel even more so to a Canadian. Would "I have an intention" work, or is that too uppity?

[gregorfodrotski]

"I have a desire," perhaps?

[northernflights]

No, we have to save "desire" for the next sentence.

[ertworks]

Yeah, I agree it is awkward. I set it up poorly, trying to at least make a passing reference to their prompt. To the thesaurus!