Comments | eruvandeaini: Echoes of sense 5/9

eruvandeaini

Echoes of sense 5/9

Mar 27, 2009 21:48

Title: Echoes of sense Part 5/9
Author: ( Read more... )

Comments 6

denny_dc March 28 2009, 07:14:52 UTC

Perfect. You have a talent for capturing characters - I mean it was only six episodes! It took me six seasons of Buffy before I started writing fic!

Can't wait for the next chapter.

hazelayes March 28 2009, 16:51:41 UTC

Agreeing wholeheartedly withe the other comments, these characters are spot on IMO. Yeah, friends+ indeed! And will Mitchell 'out' Nina before George gets the scent too?
Looking forward to the rest of this very much :)

nell_aria March 28 2009, 18:13:40 UTC

Your writing just fills me with awe! I just can't express how much I admire this brilliantly - perfectly! - paced story, the tension with the 'threat' to the trio (and Nina) and with the beautiful, tender, hearttingling, sweet relationship you have crafted between Mitchell and Annie. You understand these characters so well: you know just how they react to the situations they are faced with, and you know just how they express themselves to each other.
Favourite lines include:

Time for pragmatism now, the evidence was getting a bit too much to deny. Besides, getting George to chill out was one thing. Annie, alone and potentially vulnerable in the house, gave rise to a very different reaction.

I love the way you show his concern for Annie here, contrasting it with his instincts towards George.

Also:
"Friends version two,” she countered.

“What about George?” he said suddenly.

“Oh, well, we’re still just friends with George, that’d be weird,” Annie replied.

“No, I mean what do we tell George,” he laughed.Love this sweet ( ... )

lila_roxo April 27 2009, 05:32:42 UTC

Brilliant chapter. In just five entries, your writing has gotten smoother, better and lovelier. The plot has me keyed up as well ;) .

And I have to pick this out as my favorite line:

Then he felt her return the kiss, just a chaste pressure, but enough to reassure him he hadn’t just completely lost every useful instinct.

It's very sweet but also light and provides comical relief to end a tense scene- I'd pick out one of the 'just' there, but otherwise, perfect!

lila_roxo April 27 2009, 12:44:30 UTC

yes, you're quite right - I keep seeing little bits I want to change everytime I re-read actually, but that's what you get for posting a first draft, really :) Thanks for the positivity!

eruvandeaini April 27 2009, 12:52:19 UTC

Argh, that was me! Bloody computer!