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There's a tiger in my tank.
I've used that title before. I don't care. It was likely as a teenager in my old LJ.
Anywhoodle:
5 years. 2 mos. 6 days.
I'm a few days away from having survived 39 consecutive years of life.
What a fucking trip. How old was I when I started this journal? I'm afraid to look back. I don't want to get sucked into old entries again.
I'm currently ( Read more... ) -
Your lips live deeply in my skin.
Post about personal frustration.
I meet with a necessary life sherpa every Tuesday. My usual routine has been dismantled by Life On Life's Terms, or stuff that is out of my hands.
I need the following for Tuesdays: My large blue field guide, my notebook, my pink book of anger, my bus pass, and a pen.
Yesterday, My Little Voice said "Buy the bus pass ( Read more... ) -
My finger is on the trigger.
I gutted and purposed a salmon today at EHarvest. It felt good. It felt right. It felt natural.
I haven't broken down a fish in a year and a half. I fucking missed it.
Chef said I can break down fish as long as I'm there on "fish day". I hope he schedules me on those days.
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I will forget the lines of your face.
I've been remiss in documenting my findings in sobriety, the wrinkles and cracks as my world unfolds. Let's concentrate on tonight.
I went to the Big Book Step Study, as I do on Wednesday evenings. The speaker spoke my language, manipulating ideals in a way I could process. Like compost. I enjoyed what I heard when I wasn't half-asleep from ( Read more... ) -
Drunk Behind the Wheel
Many times, I've referred to sobriety as a waking limb. Emotionally, this is accurate.
However, with recent political events set in motion by our president and his coterie, I feel as though I'm coming into an alternate reality. Everything is going sideways and backwards.
I'm genderqueer/fluid. There are fights that need to be fought that require ( Read more... ) -
Bacon grease
I can feel it dripping again. The depression that ebbs and flows. Little things can set it off. Today, it was lack of accomplishment, for the day and in my younger days.
I didn't know I was capable of doing great things. We all are. We're born with that aptitude. I watched a video about someone saving images of dying ancient landmarks. Of course, ( Read more... ) -
A Rock and Fucking Difficult System
I spoke to a gal at GCH and we did some financial math. I make too much money (heh) to be able to qualify for state health assistance. I should've known, since I had previously discovered that I don't qualify for Medicaid.
So, I'm going to persevere, at my own pace. Do research. Find out when I can do for insurance, what I can afford for insurance ( Read more... ) -
Waking limbs
As of yesterday, I'm seven months sober. I know I need to be here. I know I'm supposed to be here. Fighting the urge to drink is not a problem, at this time. For now, I rarely feel any desire to "go back out ( Read more... ) -
Learning to knit.
I'm five months and about 10 days sober today ( Read more... ) -
Revere the child that withstands.
I spoke at the last two meetings. Monday night's could've gone a little smoother. I had a sinus headache on the left side of my brain, and it prevented me from being able to focus on my train of thought. Thankfully, it subsided during the night ( Read more... )