I think about getting committed. I think about it every day. That maybe if someone fixed me I wouldn't be lonely anymore, That if I wasn't mentally ill anymore I could... I don't know. That I could be happy. That I'd stop dreaming about killing him and then myself. That I wouldn't think about killing myself anymore. That people might ( Read more... )

Time to check in since things have started moving again. Going back to basics for a while to sort things out a bit easier and dyed my hair black. Feels so good, forgot just how changing your hair can make you feel so much better. Things are finally starting to feel all right again, at least sometimes ( Read more... )

Finally all settled in. Not much going on lately, think it's about time to get a job.... or find something productive to do...

Long Term
- Pay off provincial student loan
- Pay off federal student loan
- Pay off visa bill
- Get new car
- Start business
- Write novel
- Create comic book

Short term
- Get a new place
- Write resume- Get a new job ( Read more... )

I love airports and plane rides. Airports are the only places on earth where I can be without depression following. There's always a sense of possibility, of picking up your beg and having the ability to go anywhere in the whole fucking world. Where I can just sit and watch people and planes go buy and be hit with the realization of how ( Read more... )

You'd thinking being best friends a birthday invite would be automatic and they'd let you when, thats what I thought. Apparently not. Apparently I still have to ask and since and I didn't my "best friend" invited my lying, backstabbing, deceitful, heartless, ex and the guy who's kicking me out of my own house. Thanks a fucking lot. Thanks for ( Read more... )

Happy fucking anniversary asshole

So I got fired. Two minutes late, so awesome.

Blargh.

Well since I have a god awful amount of free time listy list time.

Long Term
- Pay off provincial student loan
- Pay off federal student loan
- Pay off visa bill
- Get new car

Short term
- Get a new place
- Write resume
- Get a new job
- Write a few paragraphs still count hehe
- Draw - ( Read more... )

All right goal/list time....

Long Term
- Pay off provincial student loan
- Pay off federal student loan
- Pay off visa bill
- Get new car

Short term
- Get a new place
- Get a new job
- Write
- Draw
- Make a piece of jewelry
- Buy camera

Probably not. Unless it's a crazy cat lady and since I have the crazy part covered all I need is a few more cats, a rocking chair, a porch, and a shotgun ( Read more... )

is never going to get better