Falling Apart

[estherchaya]

You know what?  I'm quite tired of pretending that everything's okay.  It isn't.  I'm literally falling apart from the inside out.  In the nine weeks since Tobie was born I've had the following procedures:

• Upper endoscopy (EGD)
• ERCP (endoscopic surgery)
• Echocardiogram
• Gastric Emptying Study (eating a radioactive egg)
• Head CT Scan

Comments

[twostepsfwd]

Oh, goodness! This is awful. I'm so sorry. Please remind me your Hebrew name so I can say tehillim for you. You SO don't need this crap right now. I'm sorry you are struggling.

[mrn613]

I'm 99.9% certain it's esther chaya bat sarah.

[estherchaya]

correct.

[estherchaya]

Thanks, it's esther chaya bas sarah.

[debsters1101]

ooo when he drains the abscess do you get to keep the milk? freezer stash baby!!
no but really, please, refuah sheleima soon soon soon NOW.

[estherchaya]

I wish. There's probably about 10 ounces in there (I'm not joking).

[anonymous]

Does nursing help or hinder your recoveries?

I wish I could take all your pain away and restore you to your awesome, vibrant self. Gam zeh yaavor. Refuah Shelaimah.

[estherchaya]

nursing hasn't made any difference at all. She can't pull the milk out.

Thanks for your kind thoughts.

[atimesif]

Are you going to switch to pump and feed?
Or just switch to bottles?
Please let something go smoothly already!

I hope the surgery went well. Keep us posted. Thinking of you.

[estherchaya]

She was able to nurse from my left side without problems - the mastitis/abscess was only on the right side. She still got more milk out of the right side than a pump could - a pump wasn't even getting drops out of that side. But her nursing on that side wasn't drawing milk out of the blocked area - she was getting milk from the rest of the breast, but not the part I needed cleared out.

She won't drink bottles if I'm within 100 feet of the house (and actually, on Friday, she wouldn't take one at all while I was in surgery), so switching to bottles is not an option. (She will occasionally take a bottle for my nanny, so I'm not too worried about when I go back to work).

The surgery went well. Although I'm still in a lot of pain, the mass is down significantly in size, so I hoping it will continue to improve.

[buildin_a_bayis]

How upsetting EC!!! And unfair! And all of this after the 'pregnancy-from-Hell' when we thought it would now be smooth sailing. I would punch a wall or eat a gallon of Ice cream if I were you!

[estherchaya]

I wish I could eat a gallon of ice cream. But thanks to the gastroparesis, I would just throw it up.

[atimesif]

Oh boy. Is it treatable? Can this go away after a few more months of pregnancy recovery?

[estherchaya]

Gastroparesis is theoretically treatable, but not necessarily curable. I'm on medication to help with it and I can now eat a few bites at a time, but it's still not a whole meal or anything.

[mrn613]

Oh no!

[estherchaya]

yep, pretty much.