My castle stands upon pillars of salt, pillars of sand

[estranger]

Comments

[kazeneko_chan]

I actually went through almost the same thing two summers ago. My grandmother loved to hear me play the violin, and I paid her a visit in the hospital and was able to play for her up until just a few minutes before she passed away when my family left the room for a few minutes. I know it's incredibly difficult to lose someone so close, but I am sure that your grandfather would want you to be strong and remember all of the good times you shared with him throughout the years. It's what I try to remember with my grandmother, as well.
If you ever want to talk to anyone about it, I am here for you. <3

[estranger]

It's just disturbing to me at the moment really. I honestly have been building myself up for a full year knowing my grandpa was going to die very soon. He was going to die any day and I had learned to accept it.

But today for the first time I second-guessed myself and said 'you know, I actually think he's going to make it'

and he didn't.

I'm just boggled.

[kazeneko_chan]

You didn't get careless. He got to fill your love before he left this plane.
He also got to feel your hope for him. I have an ear and a shoulder for you if you need. You are strong and my thoughts and energies go out to you.

~ Mr alien head~

[jenovaphobia]

Oh honey, my deepest sympathies to you... But you didn't get careless, you were nostalgic and you know you did everything you could to make his life better, whether or not he recognised it.

You are an amazing person, never doubt that. You did everything and nothing you did was wrong. He knows you care, whether or not you said it.

x

[estranger]

I wonder.. and I do hope so. I just find it odd the single day I see a turnaround in his condition it falters. I don't know if that's just the last sprint before the finish or what, but it was just sort of flustering to me. Like, you big jerk to tricked me for 5 minutes and then you go anyway.

Thank you for the support though I'm just trying to sort this all out in my brain. My family members are all generally young so I've experienced very few deaths to really know how I should be reacting.

[jenovaphobia]

If it's any consolation when my nan died last year, she had me fooled in a similar way; I'd been caring for her, and then she got very ill with cancer and had just 2 weeks to live - 10 days into the 2 weeks, she was up and abut and full of life, and fuck me I thought 'yes! She's getting better!'

The next day, she plumetted into a state of comatose and died in the early hours of the morning. It was the first direct family death I'd ever had to deal with it and it was so close it really hit hard.

You're strong, and I know he was grateful that you were there, even if he couldn't voice it. Things are wierd right afterwards, they will be for a while - I won't lie and say it's all just dandy, but you will cope and never feel it's any way your fault. It's not. It was going to happen one day, and it's almost heartwarming in a way to know he waited until after you'd left, leaving you on a high note. He knew you cared and he loved you.

I hope you start to pick up soon, honey.

x

[blueshinra]

I don't know what to say; all my grandparents are gone. Kind of envious you had that last moment with him, as I was in college several hundred miles away when my grandpa died, and I couldn't even make it to the funeral.

My condolences *hugs*

[maguma_sama]

*hugs* i'm so sorry babe :< if you need me for anything you know you can call me any time.

[moogleborg]

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. (Hugs)