Waking up earlier than necessary = not good ( Read more... )

Ketchup farts are funny.

In other news, the light from our yellow sun doesn't so much make me faster than a speeding bullet as it does red like a cherry. Or a tomato. Or a cherry tomato, perhaps.

Damnit. And just when I thought Lois was finally falling for me.

Best. Two. Days. Evar. Seriously. Let's list.

1) Saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
2) Snuck into Wedding Crashers.
3) Ate at Wolfgang Puck.
4) Went to P.I.
5) Went to Virgin.
6) Bought Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
7) Read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince8) **Drank around the world ( Read more... )

Smartass
You are 71% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 85% Brutal, and 85% Arrogant.

You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool- ( Read more... )

Today at 3pm. Scanning the news channels.

CNN: Lead off story- Karl Rove and Scott McClellen's admission that the President still has faith in him and anyone still employed at the White House.

MSNBC: Lead off story- Arrest made in the terrorist attacks on London. Second story- Karl Rove and Scott McClellen's admission that the President still ( Read more... )

Oh man.  Oh man.  Oh man.  There's humor, there's trancendent humor, and then there's this.

Nothing makes me happier than watching the White House Press Secretary squirm.  But since this is an ongoing investigation, I'm not going to comment.

You know, the problem with laundry is entropy. Seriously, the universe is constantly acting in a manner totally counter-productive to my best efforts. And why don't I have more damn hangers ( Read more... )

Seriously, if this is true, then I'm done.  Moving to Canada.  Or Sweden.  Or Grand Cayman.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK the administration.  Mother-fucking facists.  And feel free to attempt to take me to task if you voted for them.  I say attempt.  Because I have no patience for facists.  Fucking, fucking, FUCKING facists!  Ugh!

I'm off to burn a flag right ( Read more... )

I have brown water. I would like to attempt to brave the clusterfuck that is the Magic Kingdom so that I can get a haircut. But I will not get a haircut with nasty bar hair. And I'm NOT washing in water that is any color other than clear, though I'm not sure that clear really qualifies as a color ( Read more... )

I haven't updated in a while. Don't fret. I'm still alive. Barely ( Read more... )