The last few days were bad...I slipped back into old habits and binged like a mofo. Today was better though; I ate 760 calories and burned off 545.

After doing so well last week I really fucked things up this weekend, but I'll recover soon enough. My periods of restriction are getting longer, and binges are getting farther apart, so I'm definitely making progress. Unfortunately, it hasn't shown up on the scale yet. I need to start setting goals again to give me something manageable to ( Read more... )

I'm losing what little progress I'd made. I've been battling full-on COE today, and no matter how much I eat, it will never be enough. I ate so much chocolate tonight that I feel like (involuntarily) throwing up, yet I want to go back downstairs and finish off that gallon of ice cream. Isn't that sad?

Today was a shitty day. Despite all my instincts to the contrary, I somehow suck at AP English this year. The class (classes, actually: one junior year, one senior year) is notoriously difficult, but I managed A's both semesters last year. I thought I was actually doing really well so far, but I got a 68 on the first test. Since each test is ( Read more... )

I just watched the last episode of "Starved". I started watching that show the first week it was on, always the reruns that come on late enough at night so that my parents won't know I'm watching it. (There's a thin wall of doubt in my mother's mind separating me from the eating disordered, so I'm wary of doing anything to further arouse her ( Read more... )

I don't want to jinx myself, but this "no binge" thing has been going pretty well lately. I guess I just couldn't kick the habit until I reached the point of desperation. Today I ate 700 calories and burned 620. And when I weighed myself this morning, the scale read 143.5!

145 today-- that's a pound and a half gone in 24 hours. I have to make this work; "failure isn't an option," as the old cliche goes. Today was significantly better than the previous two days: 590 calories in, 630 calories out. I still have thirty pounds to lose, but at least I'm making progress again.

I went a little over my limit for the day, hitting 870 calories, but that isn't too terrible. I would have been at 650 but I succombed to emotionally-motivated cheerio consumption (with the consumption being emotionally-motivated, not the cereal). It wasn't a true binge, though, and for that I am greatful. The scale still reads 146.5 will ( Read more... )

146.5. That's what I woke up to this morning. What am I, a whale? I've been binging nonstop lately, and I can tell that my mother is on the verge of confronting me about it. Last year she was begging me to eat something, but now she just complains about our empty pantry while shooting meaningful looks in my direction. I never thought I would ( Read more... )

Today was ridiculous. I started off by binging at eight o'clock in the morning. Then I went to school feeling gross and disgusting. Afterschool, I hung out with a friend and saw a movie. When I came home, the house was empty (family was at a football game), so what did I do? After eating an already large meal, I drove to Sonic to buy ice cream ( Read more... )