THIS WILL NEVER STOP BEING FUNNY.

yeah i;m drun kl but i'm not a fucking hypocrite. should se the stupid in thesea partments, oh areally fro fucksake it'ssa goddamn funny.

oh sorty barry i thikn I owr you some money but samybe i don't. sorry fr fuckfing up yr car jaKEY.

ohg  hey look mor5e liquor for me.

bye folks fuck off.

Whoever the fuck you were, you left your phone here this morning afternoon whatever and it kept goddamn ringing so I threw it across the room. Dunno if it's broken, don't really care.

Memory, in many cases, is overrated. Therefore I could really give a shit what it was happened last night. 
Or the night before. Et-fucking-cetera.

I think I have class ( Read more... )

I ( Read more... )

There is a gaping void of party going on at this college, and frankly I am sick of it. 
What have you people been doing? Studying?
I'm looking at you, Delta Delta Pussyassbitches. Where are the golden days of yore when kegstands were compulsory for everyone, not just manipulable ladies? Hardly gallant, I don't think. And your jello shots wouldn't ( Read more... )

....the benches in the Bartleby Municipal Police station drunk-tank are NOT the most comfy I have slept on.

On the up-side? Getting kicked out of the Abbess means you don't have to pay!

I call it a goddamn win.

Mostly.

Welcome the fuck back, Evelyn. Fucking scholarship, fucking Mother dearest, fucking all these arbitrary shits. Two more years, I can wait two more years, right? Hell. Back in America is like returning to the fucking wasteland. God, to have stayed in Spain.

Spain.

I remember the wine and the light, primarily. The way the sun shone through the bars ( Read more... )

I'm not dead yet!

...too soon?

I'm am shitfacedd fucksing drunk and  none of you fuckwiteedd bitchesd know it except ha I've been watching stupid ass videos on the internets (not those videos perverted you peopple) and there kis some funny shit bored teenage losers put up there for the edfication of the masses let me tell you. And yuou wouldn't know I was fucked up either exceot ( Read more... )

To: ewaugh@meridian.edu
From: alex.waugh@gmail.com
Date: Feb. ---, 2009 1:30pm PST
Subj: Yet Living?

Hey WaughlerSmaller-

How's things going in the wild wilds of upstate NY? I'm back in Berkeley again, plugging away at the Masters, like usual. It having been some time since that so charming email you last sent, I thought I'd check in to see if you've ( Read more... )

I meant to have a terribly decadent Valentines party, but instead I got drunk and maudlin. Fuck that for funny ( Read more... )