He's not even wearing his gi.
This fucking sucks.

Is it wrong of me to be upset that I didn't receive anything for my birthday, and Christmas?
That my birthday wasn't celebrated?

I mean, I dished nearly two hundred dollars for Steven, and I didn't receive anything back.

The day he got his Gi, we were supposed to go shopping.  We took the day for himself.  Sure we were together the whole time, but he ( Read more... )

I've decided to give it a couple more days.
Then...

*Sigh*

I guess we'll see. 

 Now I really don't know what to do.

Guess, I'm really not worth it.

I got my nails done.  
Straightened my hair.
Even bought "Stupid Girl" boots.

I think I looked good.  Cute, really.  That's what I aim for.

And I'm trying my hardest to impress Steven.  Which is not going at all well.

I'm so close to giving up, he's so cold to me.  Still.

Tonight, he didn't want to wait ten to fifteen minutes for me to see a movie.  ( Read more... )

 Beer, Aladin and small bed with five people.

Now that's what I call fucking awesome.

Let's boogie, people.

We'll really steam this shit up.

Also, I'm really really sad.

I guess I'll explain later, since everyone is behind me.

It's a fucking train, I tell ya.

Break it.

-Bast

12:23am:  November 9th, 2007.

From Steven Damon:
"Happy birthday"

...thanks...

Yeah.  Today is November the Ninth.
Today is the celebration of my birth.

I'm Twenty fucking years old today.

And I'm not doing a goddamn thing with my life.

God knows what's next.

Well, Steven isn't talking to me.  So, we'll see how this day goes.
As always, but birthday is most likely going to suck balls.

BeBoppin'.

Was absolutely horrible.

I was ignored.

He didn't talk to me.
Unless, I engaged the conversation.  And even then, it was extremely minimal.

So, the question is:  Why is he ignoring me?
What the hell did I do this time?

It's freaking me out and I don't know what to do.  Again.

Maybe tonight will be better.  Maybe I'll at least get a hug from him.
At least.

I ( Read more... )

I'm having a lot of trouble again...  As usual.

What am I going to do now about him?

I don't think he really cares for me like he apparently says he does.
I'm not allowed to emotions.  I'm not allowed to feel unhappy.  I'm not allowed a reassurance.  I'm not allowed to ask questions such as who he's with, what he's doing, who he's talking to.

I get so ( Read more... )