Haven't been able to sleep well. Dreams. They ruin your life ( Read more... )

So, if you cheated on someone.  Like i did...
Does that mean that the person you did it to has the right to do it to you?
Does that mean you'd deserve it?

I'm not saying he cheated on me.  I wouldn't be surprised if he did actually.  I'd be getting what I deserved, right?

But, how do you bring up that you know he had feelings for someone else?
That you ( Read more... )

Here we are again.
Broken hearted and the like.
Is this something I can continue to expect from life?
Or is it something I can continue to expect from myself?

I'm bitter and angry with myself.  And it's been increasing daily.
What happened to this awesome new ME that I found over the summer?

I'm not going back to that lap dog little bitch I was.  I was ( Read more... )

I've found that I become increasingly nervous when I'm around Steven.

I want to make sure that I'm doing the right things.  That I'm saying the right things.  That I'm wearing the right things.

Does this make me crazy?

I keep his sweater on my bed.  Wash with soap he smells like.  
I just think him.  Breath him.

Fuck.

It blows because I'm not in his ( Read more... )

I believe I'm justified in being jealous and angry when he doesn't talk to me, and he talks to everyone else.

Sure, there's a lot of people he needs/wants to catch up with, but after all the fucking things he said to me before he left:  You fucking think I'd be first on the list.

Sure, he called me every week while he was in basic, at least he tried ( Read more... )

Oy, been a month and a half that he's been gone.
It's hard.

It was pretty easy in the beginning, after all the amazing things he told me before he left.
But, It's weird.  More and more I'm regressing into my depressive annoying self, where I don't like half the shit that's going on.

I snapped at him when he called, because he called me to try to get ( Read more... )

 Crazy.
I'm of to California for five days.  I'm excited.  Going to be with a lot of friends.  Hoping for a really really good time.  I heard it's cold there though.  Not happy about that.
And by cold I mean 65 - 75 degrees, that's too cold for me.
I mean, right now, I'm cold.
:/

Anyway, I'm going.  I'm needing this.

I HEARD FROM STEVEN!!!!
He called this ( Read more... )

 Heh, so after the last post.  I still had hope, right?

It came to me.

He realized how much he loved me, and how he's taken me for granted.  He knows I could never, Do what I did, to him.
Never again, will I.

Goddamnit, I love him.

And after four days, I miss him terribly.  Ninety-three more to go.

But, I'm so happy.
Is that weird?

I'm going to write him ( Read more... )

Military:  2
Jacqueline:  0

It's been a fun couple of days.  Yeah, I can't handle many things.  But, I suppose it happens.  I'm not very good with break ups.
You know, I waited or two years for Josh to come back to me.  And in the end he left me for another person.
I think I can wait three months for Steven.  Three is months is nothing compared to the ( Read more... )

Heh, another military man.

Tonight is the first time I've cried about Steven leaving since I first found out about him even considering enlisting.

Fuck you emotions.