Recently, I was told, that if I did not "behave" The Turtle Army would come for me.

Oh, yes turtles. Bring it.


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A lot of people have been asking me lately about the Chupacabra. While there is a lot of speculation about the Chupacabra, there is one thing I can tell you ( Read more... )

You.
Go to the Fridge.
Get the Pie.
The Banana Cream Pie.
Put it on the floor.
I said put it on the fucking floor!!!

God Damn It! Jesus! Fuck!
Give a little dog a pie!

Look, just forget I said all that. Just put the pie on the floor, okay?
We can be friends later, or something.Oh. My. God. What is wrong with these people? How have they lived so ( Read more... )

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I had become tired of Panda meat.

Obviously, this was just a dream.

So I found myself in the buffet of Ultimate Mystic Deliciousness.


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Last night Mommie brought home 2 puppies. At first, I thought maybe they would be delicious. After all, one of them looks like a panda.

But after a night of sitting on them to calm them down, I have decided:
They shall be generals in my New World Order!

Look at this:


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According to the HIstory Channel, the Tyrannosaurus and the Chihuahua are the same age ( Read more... )

Hello, I am a chihuahua. My name is Peaches.
Mommy thought that "Peaches" was a good name for a "dog" that is Chinese by way of Mexico.

Stupid.

I don't what I expected, though since I know her "cultural knowledge" is gleaned mostly from the fact that she's had more Irishmen in her than St. Catherine's Cathedral.

Disgusting.


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