your thoughts on these two things?

[evilcow_of_doom]

this is a song i wrote early in december last year

Comments

[her_valediction]

I really like that poem.

if only i could have, what i was never given,
take back what they stole,
and give back what i took,

Sad to say... I don't think sleep comes easy until you're old and drugged up.

[evilcow_of_doom]

it's sposed to be lyrics to a song...but it was a long time ago, and i forgot the chords...that's why the last 4 lines are...pretty much the same..

[fenny_the_wise]

your song is how i feel about sleeping.

your story, although it needs some sensory details, has a nice hook. it looks like it could go somewhere, and i would keep reading.

thanks for your really long re-typed comment on my last entry. i really appreciated it; it was one of my favorites. ever.