(Untitled)

Jul 22, 2002 07:53

alright, here's the deal. i am not getting married anytime soon, it scares the shit out of me. but i want some opinions because i am feeling torn on the subject, as usual. if you are skittish about marriage in general, do not watch the movie "heartburn", though it has some great acting.

Poll marriage requirements

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Comments 12

tommx July 22 2002, 05:41:56 UTC
i got married when i was 24. it didn't last, but there were a lot of reasons for that, not necessarily related to our age.

however, i do think our age at the time was a factor.

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evilgenius July 22 2002, 05:48:07 UTC
hmm. how old was she at the time? also 24? or a different age?

how was that a factor, if you don't mind my asking?

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tommx July 22 2002, 06:01:03 UTC
she also was 24. it wasn't so much our age that was the factor as it was that we simply weren't ready for marriage. in my case, i needed to get a better idea of what i wanted from life and from marriage, and in her case...well...she didn't know what she wanted either to be honest. what she said she'd wanted would change from year to year until it finally got to a point where we simply couldn't make each other happy.

is it always a mistake to marry young? no, of course not, and i don't regret that i did get married when i did because there were some wonderful times during that period that i wouldn't trade for anything. if you want to have some "light reading" on the subject, a very good friend recommended this to me. i found it to be very thought provoking. it might help you with answers.

if you'd like further elaboration on my situation, feel free to instant message me sometime.

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tink July 22 2002, 06:05:06 UTC
For some reason there has been a lot of reference to marriage in my life lately. Like, I am old enough to do so. I am nineteen. I am NOT old enough to do so. But thinking about it has me wondering if I will ever be old enough to do so.

"I can't get married!" I keep saying, "I have THINGS to do."

I do. I have things to do. I want to teach on an Indian Reservation and back-pack across Europe and start a school and mother a child and I want to do all of these things when I want to do them. It just seems that another person would require a lot of compromise.

Maybe someday I'll be prepared for that.

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evilgenius July 22 2002, 06:15:25 UTC
i kinda feel the same way. i keep thinking, "you mean i'm not even allowed to KISS anyone else? ever again? really. fascinating. so i'd never get to get butterflies over someone new that i'm dating. hmm." but then, dating really sucks too. you only romanticize it when you can't anymore. not that i can't at present, well, sort of. i don't know.

when i think about marriage, it's as though someone has diagnosed me with a terminal disease. i keep wanting to scream, "but i'm only 22!!!"

i am a big freak.

btw, your user pic is absolutely adorable.

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tink July 22 2002, 06:38:34 UTC
If you're a big freak, I'll join you in this freakiness.

What I can't figure out, really, is how I went from little miss "oh please please can we look at the wedding dresses?" to this.

I just,um, I'm feeling sort of independant right now and the REST OF MY LIFE is a hell of a long time.

(btw, that is because i am really cute)

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number12 July 22 2002, 06:07:06 UTC
uh oh...are you gonna get the ring soon? ;)

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cowboy_r July 22 2002, 06:07:45 UTC
My parents are still together. Of course, by "Parents," I mean my mother, and my step-father, who first got married when I was about two. And, of course, as I mentioned recently in my own journal, this is thier third marriage... they've been divorced twice.

Hey... I never claimed any sort of "normalicy" for my family!

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evilgenius July 22 2002, 06:12:38 UTC
s'okay, i don't know anyone with a "normal" family.

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kvschwartz July 22 2002, 06:29:40 UTC
18 is the OLDEST age of consent of any state (and almost any country); in several states you can get married, without your parents' consent, at age 14

thus you omitted
< 11
11-14
14-17

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