i had a panic attack for the first time in months last night. it was horrible. i felt like i was going to die. then once i took a valium and was able to sleep, i had nightmares that my boyfriend ran off with bebe neuworth. great.

i am taking a break from this for awhile. i don't know if i will be back. if you want to talk to me, me email is paintthinnr@aol.com. ta.

alright, here's the deal. i am not getting married anytime soon, it scares the shit out of me. but i want some opinions because i am feeling torn on the subject, as usual. if you are skittish about marriage in general, do not watch the movie "heartburn", though it has some great acting.

Poll marriage requirements

i would kill you for a cigarette. no joke. or anyone you want me to. just give me a fucking smoke. it's been almost a week since i have had one, and i must say, withdrawel does not get any better.

i used to be messy. since i moved into my apartment, i have turned very neat. not obsessive compulsive or anything, i just have a place for everything. i think it's because i take pride in my apartment and want it to be pretty. my roommate samantha, though i love her, is the messiest person i have ever met. seriously. it's like on that ( Read more... )

i had a job interview today for a position at prada. it was a round 1 interview, but apparently, they think i am perfect. (this is, of course, true.) i love prada. but something is nagging at me about this. i feel like if i take an office job, that means i am giving up acting. i know that isn't so, it just scares me. i don't want to get ( Read more... )

i relaxed my hair yesterday so i wouldn't have to beat it into submission so much. it looks awesome and only cost $7. hell yeah. best decision i have ever made regarding the mane ( Read more... )

yep. i definitely love my life here. this morning, my roommate florence, who is a photographer, took tons of beautiful pictures of me in my ballet clothes and pointe shoes. she also did some portraiture. she has an amazing concept of light. i love what she did. when i have it burned onto a cd i will post some ( Read more... )

i am starting to get all emotional about moving. i don't know why. i want out of here very badly. i am going to miss the fireflies though. and i have no idea how i am going to move my bed over there.

i hung out with my future roommates today. fabulous girls, both of them. florence rocks. i want to steal all her clothes. (not so she'd be naked, just because i like her clothes and want them for myself ( Read more... )