losin' it sucks.

i am most definitely past a certain point of reality.

i'm self-medicating with scotch. glenlivet 12yrs.

i need an enormous spanish-cow-tion.

everything's coming up roses, mired in shit ( Read more... )

it never stops. i love the locale of my house. the general setup is pretty good too. the yard-fantastic. my room smells like full circle in the morning.

stale cigarette smoke has infused my room. my bed, my clothes, ugh. it's awful. it's enough to make me want to move.

i hope that something can be done about it. otherwise i'm screwed.

f%$k.

today is the first day that really reminded me of last year's folly on scootie.

it's grey and wintery, cold and windy leaves blowing everywhere. in short really depressing looking.

but as for me i've got walls, windows and doors.

another day...

i guess i've figured out what i was supposed to learn over this last year ( Read more... )

i forgot about the exs. a couple days ago i got the triple whammy ( Read more... )

the morning doldrums are fading. the anxiety of everything is subsiding. i'm still busy as a button on a stripper's 501s ( Read more... )

i was feeling fine and then this weight dropped. i realized i've commited myself for far more work than i can manage. personal/professional/academic ( Read more... )

my dreams are not so good. i don't remember them to the t, but i do remember the major component. krista seems to haunt my dreams. she doesn't try to kill me or anything, i suppose that might be preferred. no, they're all about reall stuff. stuff that happened or that i wanted to happen, or that i really didn't want to happen ( Read more... )

there is only so much an individual can do ( Read more... )