[Voice Post] [static-y]

[eviltriumphs]

[The device clicks on to a rush of static. In the background, the horrifying sounds of Latimir can be heard--babies wailing, people screaming, the works. And amongst it all is Stan. Laughing.]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ahhhh, nothing better to improve my mood than a literal House of Horrors.  Unlike you spineless worms, I'm perfectly content among such macabre

Comments

[prodigal_axe]

Stay away from her.

[eviltriumphs]

You make it sound like it's that easy. If you can keep her away until I need her powers--heck, MAKE HER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!--I will be nothing but relieved

[prodigal_axe]

Just tell her I have a shotgun.

[eviltriumphs]

I warn you: that will probably encourage her.

[overshadowedboy]

I don't like this at all...

[eviltriumphs]

There you are, Slave! Even better, you're not dead yet!

Pertend his "Why Me" icon is being used D:

[overshadowedboy]

...

No thanks to you.

[eviltriumphs]

What's that, Slave? I can't hear you over your ellipses of uselessness. QUIT WHINING! I bet if you spent less time complaining about how I'm not there (honestly, how did you survive to adolescence without me?) and more time killing things, THE WORTH OF YOUR EXISTENCE WITH IMPROVE TENFOLD!! Besides, this entire ghastly ordeal is spectacular!

{Voice}

[whatthefactor]

Heh heh heh heh Haaa ha ha haaa. I zetta dig your style!

Fear, mercy, companionship--they're all garbage.

[ voice ] [ static ] [1/2]

[eviltriumphs]

Oh my god...

[ voice ] [ static ] [2/2]

[eviltriumphs]

SOMEONE WHO FINALLY GETS IT! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Maybe this place isn't completely full of pathetic, brain dead insects!

[filialeve]

What are you yelling about?

[eviltriumphs]

Shotgun weddings. Annoying, empty-headed women. Some combination thereof.

[filialeve]

What's shotguns gotta do with a wedding? That don't make sense.

[omniconcert]

Oh Stan darling, don't yoy worry. I've, like, told all of our friends about our wedding plans. You're just getting cold feet and whatever.

[omniconcert]

Totally!

Coach is just upset that I totally told everyone ahead of time.

[eviltriumphs]

WHAT?! NO! NONONONONONO!!!

WHAT PART OF "WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED" DID YOUR LIMITED BRAIN CAPACITY NOT COMPREHEND?!