[text so that freaking Prussia can understand him]

[eviltriumphs]

I'M SO GOD DAMN SICK OF YOU STUPID-FACED IDIOT AMERICANS SHOOTING ME EVERY TIME I SHOVE SOMEONE OUT A WINDOW OR KIDNAP A COUNTRY!!! I NEVER EVEN GOT TO FINISH MY EPIC BATTLE WITH HIM BECAUSE OF THAT DAMN BOTTLE!!

Stupid magic burst. Stupid prideful fatty America. I swear, I'm going to smother every one of his cities with a smog that will sear the

Comments

[purple_aces]

......................

1/3

[eviltriumphs]

Epros?

2/3

[eviltriumphs]

...You're back!

3/3

[eviltriumphs]

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU FLOATING PHANTOM FREAK?!?!

Do you even realize what I've had to endure in your absence?! As irritating as your stupid rhymes may be, Linda's clingy stupidity is borderline unbearable!! And with YOU out of the picture, GUESS WHO WAS THE OBJECT OF BUBBLY ANNOYANCE'S AFFECTION? She's too useless to even produce an heir for me, and I didn't have anyone to hand her off to!!

Worse yet, I've had a menagerie of Heroes to deal with, Miss Blimp-butt among them, that Noisy Fake Evil King stealing my rightful place as the harbinger of chaos, AND a legion of slaves that are either weaselly cowards or moody teenagers!

YOU WERE, BY A VERY SLIGHT MARGIN, THE MOST USEFUL OF THE GROUP ASIDE FROM ME, AND YOU DECIDED TO TAKE A DAMN STROLL BACK TO MADRIL?!?!

However, being the merciful lord that I am, I will pardon your grievous crime of abandonment if you can distract Bubbly Annoyance long enough for what shreds of my sanity are left to mend.

[herowithparasol]

Maybe that'll teach you not to shove people out windows and and kidnap little country kids!

I suppose I have to beat your allies to the punch. Noooow, what ditch is all the obnoxious yelling coming from...

[eviltriumphs]

Hardly. If anything, this has taught me that if I'm going to engage in battles with Heroes, I may as well create and even greater scale of agony and terror!!

HAHAHA!!! Good luck, Lard Thighs, I got outta that ditch yesterday! You'll never catch me!

[herowithparasol]

OOoooh! You never learn, do you!?

Oh yes I will! You're probably dizzy and having a lie-down after all that blood loss...

[eviltriumphs]

What can I say? I'm evil at heart, dark to my very soul, hehehehehe.

JUST TRY TO FIND ME, LUMPY WENCH!! I STILL HAVE ENOUGH POWER TO INCINERATE YOU!

[Text]

[ineuphony]

You have slaves now?

[Text]

[eviltriumphs]

I've always had slaves.

[Text]

[ineuphony]

And they actually listen to your nonsense?

[Text]

[eviltriumphs]

Of course they do! I own them!! Well, Slave's the only one who actually sold his soul to me, but the others either saw my great capabilities and joined me or were beaten into submission and joined me.

[quirky_sitar]

Man, those bottles. Sound like all of you from Linda's world have bad luck with 'em.

[eviltriumphs]

Mostly just me. We threw a bunch of bottles at Epros since we were running low on strawberries, but my suffering is greater and obviously more important than his.

[quirky_sitar]

Uh huh....much greater, yup.

[eviltriumphs]

Your lack of enthusiasm and outrage at my wounds irritates me. You're either depressed or moody and I really, really don't care which it is. MOURN MY FATE, SITAR SLAVE!! MOURN IT NOW!

[secrethistorian]

Well that explains why he's been so quiet.

You were shot?

[eviltriumphs]

YES, BY THAT MORON FATASS AMERICA!! I'VE BEEN BLEEDING FOR DAYS!!

[secrethistorian]

Haven't met any America's but days? Jeez, don't you know you're supposed to apply pressure to make it stop?

[ He sighed. ] Where are you? I don't have any healing magic but I at least have bandages.

[ The guy might be nuts but it wouldn't do any good to let someone just bleed to death. ]

[eviltriumphs]

You're forgetting that every single movement I made reopened the wounds. What, did you expect me to sit in a ditch for a week and wait for rescue like some pathetic human?!

[locked]

Some parking garage. I've been lighting monsters on fire, but I'm getting tired and bored. FIND ME NOW.