[text so that freaking Prussia can understand him]

[eviltriumphs]

I'M SO GOD DAMN SICK OF YOU STUPID-FACED IDIOT AMERICANS SHOOTING ME EVERY TIME I SHOVE SOMEONE OUT A WINDOW OR KIDNAP A COUNTRY!!! I NEVER EVEN GOT TO FINISH MY EPIC BATTLE WITH HIM BECAUSE OF THAT DAMN BOTTLE!!

Stupid magic burst. Stupid prideful fatty America. I swear, I'm going to smother every one of his cities with a smog that will sear the

Comments

[germphobic]

[ Laughter came through the communicator, though it stopped every now and then and there was a spraying noise. Disinfecting much? ]

HOW PATHETIC! BUT I do like the sound of the pain all those humans will be going through!

[herowithparasol]

LAUGH IT UP NOW, GREEN MUTANT EVIL KING, 'CAUSE YOU'RE NEXT ON THE MAP!

[germphobic]

I AM LAUGHING IT UP, THERE IS NO NEED TO TELL ME TO, YOU STUPID HUMAN!

Eh? I'm on a map? MY GREAT EXPLOITS HAVE BEEN MAPPED OUT TO TERRIFY THE CHILDREN? Then good. It should be that way until I DESTROY YOU ALL.

[herowithparasol]

Don't get too comfy! I'll stop you in your tracks!

[whatthefactor]

Wow, you are = |fail|.

[eviltriumphs]

YOU'RE A NOISY MATH GEEK LOSER FREAK THAT WILL NEVER GET A GIRLFRIEND!!

[whatthefactor]

Why the factor would I want some needy, filthy bitch climbing all over me and wasting time that could be better spent on more worthwhile functions?

[eviltriumphs]

...Valid point. Their only real purposes are mindless worship and procreation.

[Text]

[2cool4europe]

WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU FIGHTING AMERICA?! YOU DON'T HAVE AN HEIR YET, YOU IDIOT! THIS REFLECTS BADLY ON THE MONARCHY! YOU PULLING STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS IS GIVING THE LIBERALS POWER!

While you were out playing with America, I've been busy defending my vital regions! Russia is here! RUSSIA! He's insane! He broke my arm with a faucet! WHO THE FUCK BREAKS PEOPLE'S ARMS WITH A FAUCET?!

[Text]

[eviltriumphs]

BECAUSE I'M NOT SOME WORTHLESS MEATBAG OF A KING THAT JUST SITS ON HIS ASS WHILE HIS COUNTRY GOES TO WAR!! AND AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO HAVE AN HEIR!!! It's not by strictly bloodline, but it's an evil-soul-aura thing; it's like a bloodline, but better. AND EVEN IF I DIED, WHICH I WON'T, I'D JUST BE REINCARNATED AGAIN YOU POTATO-BRAIN!! I CAN BE MY OWN GOD DAMN HEIR!! That's how Evil Kingship works.

Playing?!?! He shot me!! I lit him on fire and tore him up and cursed him with inability to ever be a Stealthy Hero! HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THAT GUY'S SHADOW?! It was the third most horrifying experience of my life! I can still taste the liberty, ugh.

...He broke your arm with a faucet? Hmph, now he's an evil bastard, hehehe. Oh, right, is your damn arm fixed yet?

And is there a reason why you two practically have the same name?

[Text]

[2cool4europe]

I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN USE YOUR CRAZY HEATHEN MAGICS TO REINCARNATE YOURSELF! NOR DO I CARE THAT YOU'RE ABLE TO CREATE FUCKED UP HEIRS FROM YOUR AURA SHIT!! STOP PUTTING YOURSELF INTO DANGEROUS SITUATIONS!

America is the epitome of liberalism! That's what will happen to me if the liberals win! That's the result of Democracy! If you hated his shadow, just imagine the whole world engulfed in that liberty! Everyone will have the right to vote! People will be seen as equals! Human rights! Fucking Bolshevism everywhere! EVERYWHERE!

And no, I don't rely on Satanic powers, so my arm isn't healed. I've got a splint to set it... Should be healed in a month or two....

AND WE DON'T HAVE THE SAME NAME. RUSSIA IS NOTHING LIKE PRUSSIA!

[Text]

[eviltriumphs]

DANGEROUS SITUATIONS?! WE'RE LIVING IN AN APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND--one I didn't create, damn it--WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? SIT ON MY ASS ALL DAY IN SOME STUFFY ROOM?! I DID THAT FOR THREE FUCKING CENTURIES, I'M NOT BEING THAT IDLE EVER AGAIN!!! It's bad enough I had to endure that same torture for ten days with that happy bastard with me!!

Hence why I tried to obliterate him. Or at the very least, scar him enough to have a negative impact on his citizen and anyone who is dumb enough to revere him. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE A LIBERAL. THE LIBERALS WON'T OVERTHROW YOU. I'LL JUST THROW THEM IN A CAVE OR SOMETHING.

Two months?! How the hell do you expect to run around with your arm bandaged up for two months?! Slave apparently is useful enough to have healing magic again and has some nuts. You're getting your arm fixed if I have to restrain you to do it!!

YOU'RE NAMES ARE ONE LETTER APART. SUBTRACT A "P" FROM YOUR NAME, AND YOU HAVE HIS.

[overshadowedboy]

I'm trying to avoid you and your stupid forced conflicts.

I have some nuts if you want them... I could also heal you.

[eviltriumphs]

Good. Apparently Prussia is a stupid bastard who got his arm broken, so give him one too. I can't have my country be seen as the failure he is--!

Wait, you can heal again? You're useful again?!

[overshadowedboy]

I've had my powers for a few months now.

[eviltriumphs]

Oh. Well you should use them more so I don't forget that you're not worthless.

[overloadlaharl]

What are you doing Floor Shadow?! Getting picked off by the weak and pathetic?!

[eviltriumphs]

I GOT SHOT BY A COUNTRY YOU SHORT ROACH-HAIRED FAKE EVIL BEING!!

[overloadlaharl]

[Give Laharl a moment, he's busy laughing like crazy. A few minutes later, he stops.]

You're an idiot! Countries aren't humans!

[eviltriumphs]

Duh they're not! Why would I waste my time with some useless humans who aren't my slaves or object of torment?