So I've been off the map lately, working on my abs, mostly. They're finally at just the point of deterioration where they'll hold together until it's time to spill my guts, literally. It's great for parties, bar mitzvahs, and midnight Halloween massacres ( Read more... )

I'm so gonna crash a wedding this weekend...

Trapped, and obviously in danger of losing my position as leader of the zombie hordes in Tennessee, I knew I had to do something. I tried to call my minions, but for some reason I couldn't feel any nearby undead presences. Knowing that it was impossible that every zombie in the region had been wiped out, I figured there must be some mystical aspect ( Read more... )

As you may recall, in my last post, I was very ill, and on the verge of actual death ( Read more... )

Well, I'm pretty sure this is it for me. I actually broke out in patches of living tissue a few months ago. I thought I could tough it out, and maybe it would just go away. Maybe I'd eaten something that disagreed with me, or maybe it was some bizarre flesh restoring bacteria ( Read more... )

I'm somewhat disappointed - none of the multiple-choice answers involved eating the survivors. I tried to make do - the results are about as good as I could expect, given the circumstances.

One of them...
Congratulations! You scored 26! You fought back, a little. Despite all your attempts, you went out with ( Read more... )

Hrm. Lately, my life has been all too bereft of bikini-clad-B-list actresses fleeing in terror whilst looking over their shoulders and not paying attention to where they are going. I think that maybe I need to get out a bit tonight.

Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that the Brain Connection wasn't a store ( Read more... )

It's been a while since I updated. I've been busy coordinating my efforts to help the George Bush campaign. I was somewhat disappointed when I found out that he wasn't really running with Zombie Reagan as his veep, but since Cheney's practically undead anyway, I'm not too distressed. It's been a long few months, but I think I can take a few minutes ( Read more... )

It's almost too good to be true.