How does one learn to leave it all behind? That once was could possibly no longer be. Learning to not wonder, the "What If's", but embracing in what is now ( Read more... )

There are a few thoughts that have drifted in and out of my mind for the past 24 hours. One of the enduring questions I've been trying to answer is: Was it even right to have brought up the past ( Read more... )

I sit here drowning in my own tears. My soul feels empty. I don't feel lonely, I feel alone. It doesn't help that every day I'm mostly surrounded by inaminate objects; I need someone to talk to and to physically be around. I want to feel again. I need to conjure up all the will=power to tell myself that the grass in greener on the other side ( Read more... )

I'm in a state of reevaluation right now. I'm still amazed (and not in a good way) how you just didn't get how much I've been needing you these past two nights... needing and wanting to talk to you. NOT TO MENTION that I've explicitly said/texted that I need someone to talk to, I need some of your undivided attention, I feel lost, alone, empty, I ( Read more... )

Smoking was my silent and chronic suicide. It was never a social investment.

It bothers me when my dad brings up the fact that we have to consider how often we go to LA because Sacramento is our home now. Sorry dad, Sacramento is not home. Home is supposed to make you feel comfortable, even if you go out by yourself and sit at a Starbucks to study; you still feel safe. Having my friends and other family members ( Read more... )

Dang. Talk about indirectly having a blast from the past. I didn't know I still had them. I miss him but... it may just be because I have some unfinished business that will never get settled. At least I don't struggle with the thought as much as I used to.

My brother-in-law has asked me quite a few times this simple question in regards to my future/career, "What is it that you want to do?"... and I'm always at the other end thinking, "Uhh... what kind of answer are you looking for?". Sometimes I feel like he asks me that question because he already has somewhat of an answer for me, but wants me to ( Read more... )

I wonder how it's going to be like some odd number of years from now with my family, especially with my siblings. I have played out two scenarios: 1) our relationships grow and get better as we are only getting older, or 2) we barely see each other. If things stay the same as they are now, I definitely see the latter and sadly, it's because I ( Read more... )

I guess I'm kind of glad that a holiday like thanksgiving exists because it gives people a reason to remember what they are thankful for for once. But you know, that feeling sort of dies as the next day roles around. It's kind of like that kairos high. Why do people say they are thankful for what they have one day out of 365? I think it's a sad ( Read more... )