So, I started a new LJ- one of those wanting to start everything over moments.  I'm going to keep this around to keep the entries, but I won't post in this anymore.  My new account is underscored42. 

 I opened the fire door to four lips, none of which were mine-
-kissing-
Tightened my belt around my hips where your hands were missing.
And I'm singing now because my tear ducts are too tired.
And my mind is disconnected,
                    but my heart is wired.
I make a good statistic, someone should study me now.
(Somebody's got to be interested
      ( Read more... )

 I guess that it's been about time for me to really have my heart broken for the first time.  It happens to most people a lot earlier than this, and right now I can't really say whether that makes me lucky or not.
I am now moved back home.  Tab and I..  it all started with finding an apartment, and me objecting to all three of us living in her ( Read more... )

I'm coming home.  I guess this has been a while coming, but... I'll see you all on Tuesday. 

On another note, I read Self Made Man by Norah Vincent yesterday.  It's definitely one I recommend if you haven't read it yet- a different perspective. 

Mmm.  I knew this displacement was coming.  This sense at doing exactly the wrong thing at this point in my life and trying to reconcile it.  Of being irresponsible and trying to grow up and in the process feeling like I'm not doing anything right.  Of getting in fights with Tab because she's already passed this stage and is trying to help, but it ( Read more... )

Mmmmm.  I started working at a resort down here this week and I've remembered that horrible sinking feeling I get in my gut when dealing with large corporate businnesses and places where money buys the motto that you can't say no to the customers.  My manager's generally nice, but completely inept- threw me out my second day by myself with barely ( Read more... )

So, things went up for a while.  We had a really great night the other night- and Tab started talking about what had been wrong for the past two weeks, which we needed- but suddenly I felt attacked and she felt misunderstood and I walked out at five o'clock in the morning with no shoes on and I think for the first time I got how much of a process ( Read more... )

So here we are, sitting and walking and driving and not talking- and this has been going for, what? almost a week and I'm trying to count the days and see if the bad outnumber the good and every time she starts talking to me like normal or smiles, it's worth it, but then I ask a question and she responds like I'm an idiot and it's all in the trash ( Read more... )

Starting to second guess myself.  Starting to second guess dropping out of school and coming here if we can't communicate- but that's normal, right?  Period of adjustment to moving in with somebody- things change when you're not just dating anymore and when you see them all the time.  Doesn't mean I like it or feel like it's ok that she snaps and I ( Read more... )