because i suppose we're all allowed to go a little mad sometimes.

ive sat here for the last week with more jumbled twisted squashed mixed shaken and stirred thoughts. with no ability to put organization or form to any of them. ive sat here shoving my foot so deep in my mouth that ive been shitting my own toes. ive sat here shame faced and eyes ( Read more... )

it felt like i was being choked. the air around me, in me was paralyzed. i kept gasping, i don't know whether my heart had stood still, or if it was thumping so fast, i couldn't tell the difference.

that image has been stamped in my mind, whether i like it or not. and it reminds me of how blind i am, and also how inadequate. i've become the ( Read more... )

i felt so hallow and empty... i thought it was because of how sad i had been... but it’s because there is nothing here to satisfy me.

i want to be warm and connected with people. i want to touch and feel. i want to find the things that I didn’t realize I was looking for. i want to be consumed.

i need to leave. not just physically leave...but, part ( Read more... )

we are responsible for the individual quagmires that we create ( Read more... )

While I feel that I should be sending this letter to God instead, I will also CC it to Mr. Claus as well:

Dear Saint Nicholas,

I haven't wrote you since I was a very young girl, but I feel compelled to write you now.

2007 was a blur. It was a wild roller-coaster ride of ups and downs, twists and turns, buildups and exhilarations, pauses and ( Read more... )

it's like standing under the rain, waiting for the droplets to fall upon your waiting lips.
but strangely enough, though they fall everywhere else,
your lips are still parched, dry, and cracked
and you are left, still thirsting, still aching
ever impatient

to have one's wants, reconciled with one's desires
is.....impossible?

i'd like a love on the rocks please, shaken, but not stirred.

4.oh.7 am.

the jolt of three a.m energy is wearing thin.

how many times have i written that my 'revolution' will begin?

it seems, however, that time and time and again, i lack the resolve and genuine innate motivation that such a drastic one80 requires.
i've spent too much time flitting about, between, above, and under residual symptoms - evading the ( Read more... )

Midterms.
Eff.

If I'm this worried, I can't possibly be a genius.

anticipation is quickly eating away at the last vestiges of caution, and i can't help this feeling of gnawing nervousness. how did silence become such a harsh reprimand? even now, i can still hear its brittle echoes ringing in my ear - and it has done nothing to lessen the acidity of anxiety ( Read more... )