Potter,

I'm on my way.

--Demi

Hold the cigars, honey lamb, that baby's not out yet! Looks like that boy can't even get a girl knocked up right! I know you're looking forward to decorating the nursery, and you've got the christening gown all picked out, but I just glided by the school and no baby. Can you put the gown back in the crypt until we get wo--


( Read more... )

Boss--

I'm in. You're going to think this is weird, but I think the Muggles can see me! *sounds of metal hitting floor* Oops, sorry about that. I nearly tripped over this scythe out in the graveyard and brought it along to keep anyone else from tripping over it.

Boss,

Sure thing. I've got the missus sending over some extra provisions, so it's no trouble to take extra shifts.

--Demi

PS: Sorry to hear about the Potter kid.

Dear Sir,

You're joking, right?

You want me to suck out a piece of soul--yummy, crunchy, sweet, sweet soul--and you're asking if I mind?

Line 'em up.

I'm fairly confident it won't do me any harm, unless, say, it's one of the repeaters, and I've got plenty of bromo seltzer.

--Demi

Rat Post to the Staff of the Azkaban Shopper's Weekly

Never mind.

Your former editor

Fast Bat to Dexter

You get your clothes on now, boy!

Dear Staff,

My apolgies for my long absence, if I have indeed been away. I've been on assignment for an important story, one, I think will be of interest to our entire community.

There are, as I'm no doubt sure you'll be shocked to discover, Dementors, yes, our kind, breeding with humans. I have, just this very morning come across the home of ( Read more... )

Boss ( Read more... )

You get used to a certain way things are done, a certain way people are. My kind are...quiet-like. We glide in, maybe have a bit of harmless fun with humans by making them see things a bit gloomier, and we glide out. Even our jobs are quiet. Guarding, assisting, a bit of torture here and there, but the prisoners never really screamed all that ( Read more... )

Jack,

You're on. Careful, I'm feeling lucky.

--Demi