Picking up the Pieces, 5: The Fireball
Title: Picking up the Pieces
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there/Become so tired, so much more aware/I'm becoming this, all I want to do/Is be more like me and be less like you/And I know I may end up failing too/But I know you were just like me/with someone disappointed in you
*~*~*
BPOV
The next few days had been busy with my mom flying in and spending quite a bit of time with me in such a short visit. There had been a lot of tears, of demands for explanations that exhausted me. It was my fault, but my patience was stretched thin. She deserved answers, but I was having trouble getting around the whole my death was faked because I was in danger from ancient vampires thing. We mostly stayed inside; partially because Renee needed the reassurance that I truly was okay and because she needed me by her side.
It took awhile to calm her down. It was also difficult saying goodbye. Renee was exhausting, but I loved her. The guilt felt like it was going to be ever-present in my life from now on. We both cried before she left, and I promised I would call her often and that I would do my best to visit her as soon as I could.
It had been a couple days since I had spoken to Jacob, too. As far as I knew he hadn't been back, though it really hadn't been long. I was trying to give him some breathing space, but I kept coming back to the fact that he had a girlfriend and that made it hard. It didn't really surprise me because he had always been beautiful inside and out. It bothered me in completely selfish ways, though. Thinking of him with another woman stung more than it really had a right to.
I sighed, staring down morosely at the pasta cooking on the stove. Giving it a quick stir, I drained the water off. I dumped the vegetables and shrimp over it and called Charlie to dinner.
I could feel him watching me as I poked my fork into the mound. He twined some pasta slowly and ate it. "Bells?" he finally said.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"I know you haven't been back for very long, but maybe you need to find a job or something to do. You know, keep your mind occupied so you aren't thinking about…" he paused. I knew what he was going to say and my cheeks warmed.
"I planned on it," I admitted ignoring the rest of what he was inferring to. "I had looked in the paper for jobs when I got here. I just don't want you to, you know…"
He fiddled with his fork. "Freak out? I think it'd be pretty impossible to hide the fact that what I really want is for you to never leave this house."
He gave me a small smile, surprising a laugh out of me.
"But you need some distractions and I assume you're going to want to earn money." He took his last forkful of dinner and patted his stomach appreciatively.
There had also been the thought of eventually having my own apartment, but I knew Charlie wasn't ready for that, and I wasn't ready to leave him yet. A job would keep me busy, though, so I was anxious for that. In fact, I decided I would head out tomorrow to check into those job listings near Port Angeles.
He took his dishes to the sink. "You're right, I do," I said. "I think I'll head out tomorrow and see what's out there. I did take some writing, journalism and business courses while I was in…" My voice trailed off at the look on Charlie's face.
His eyes had that haunted look in them again. Instinctively, I moved toward him and wrapped my arms around him. "I missed parts of your life," he said wistfully.
Quite suddenly, I had trouble speaking around the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry, Dad. I can never say how sorry I am."
He hugged me back, his grip tight, as if I would disappear again. "You will give me answers one day. I haven't forgotten."
I closed my eyes, afraid of when that day would come. Would it be better if he knew the truth? The danger had never officially passed, but in over a year's time, the rumblings of the Volturi had stopped. Is it possible they would check on the Cullen's again or check here in Forks and find out I was still alive? I wasn't sure how to tell Charlie, though, without giving anything away. My lies would have to be kept track of, and I was completely sick of lying.
For now, he wasn't pushing me. I would take what I could get.
The dreams came more frequently now. It felt like I could barely escape my past because it kept haunting me at night. That evening was no exception as I dreamt of the moment when I realized I was in over my head and didn't know what to do.
The Volturi finally called Carlisle the evening of February 7th. I had a class soon that I was looking forward to, and I had made strides in achieving friendships with a couple people that took it as well. We were going to celebrate after the test we had to take to relieve some of the stress we had all been feeling.
Carlisle stood perfectly still in the middle of the living room, a blonde, marbled statue. He listened and finally said, "It is going to be taken care of."
Edward had stiffened throughout the conversation. He led me into the living room, urging me to sit. Confused, I glanced up at them as the rest of the Cullen's - overhearing the conversation from different parts of the house - came into the room.
"What is it?" I asked worriedly.
"The Volturi…" Edward paused. "They know you are still human, Bella, and they said if something isn't done soon they are going to take matters into their own hands," he continued without beating around the bush.
I felt my stomach drop, and I struggled to breathe. Alice gently pushed my head between my knees as I began to hyperventilate. "Breathe," she murmured.
"Maybe we should turn you in the next couple days," Emmett mused.
My desire to be a vampire was no longer there. It was already becoming a slight issue between Edward and me. His eyes met mine, and I looked down, twisting my fingers together. The panic tightened its hold around my throat. This was too soon; there wasn't enough time for me to process it.
"I… I don't think I want to…"
Edward's face tightened momentarily, but was smooth again a moment later. "We have to do something, Bella," Esme said quietly.
They pondered that when Edward came up with the idea of staging a car crash and having it reported in the local paper that I had been in it when it happened.
My breath caught in my throat at the consequences of something like that. "I can't… no… Charlie, Jake…" I cringed as I mentioned Jake's name out loud and saw that flash in Edward's eyes.
"It will only be circulated in Denali," Edward said calmly.
Rose looked thoughtful. "It could work. Denali is a small town. It wouldn't go beyond that, I'm sure."
I didn't like the idea. It would mean I'd have to go into hiding. I already felt so disconnected from my family and friends. The worry in the pit of my stomach grew as I saw I was being outnumbered. I knew it was so the Volturi wouldn't try to hurt me, but it didn't stop me from thinking this was a very bad idea.
I woke with a start. My head hurt, and I felt groggy as the vestiges of the dreams disappeared. The rain outside was quiet, just a soft pattering against the windows. I yawned, not really eager to get up, but also wanting to get a move on. So, I dragged myself out of bed and dressed in an emerald green sweater and nice slacks in case I got lucky and got to speak with someone in charge at any of the places I applied at.
I grabbed a pop-tart and poured some coffee into a travel mug. "You're going to go look for a job?" Charlie asked, pouring out his own coffee, already dressed in uniform.
"Yeah, I'm going to drive into Port Angeles to see if any newspaper offices might be hiring."
Charlie's eyes flickered with worry. "You're looking in Port Angeles?"
I said gently, "I don't think there would be anything like that around here, Dad. I'll probably have better luck in Port Angeles."
He nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, you're probably right. But… please be careful, Bells. Call me when you get there?"
"When I get there and on the way back," I promised. "My phone will be on the whole time."
I gave him a hug before getting into my truck to make the journey to the city. As I drove, I wondered where Jake lived, if he would be anywhere nearby. It hadn't slipped my mind I was going to the area where he lived, but I was thinking more and more about it. Did he live with this girlfriend? Was he with her now?
The thought had me cringing, and I tried to banish the thought as I parked. I scanned the page of the newspaper I brought with me and walked the few blocks to the local newspaper office.
"May I help you?" a perfectly coifed brunette said, looking up from her computer.
"Good morning," I said putting on my best professional smile. "I was wondering if there were any job openings for a journalist position or columnist."
"We do have a few job openings," she said smiling back. "Do you have experience in the field?"
"I went to school at the Kenai Peninsula College in Alaska. I took courses in writing, journalism, and business. My last job was in a bookstore."
She handed me an application. "All right, just fill this out, put any experience you may have had in this section, and attach your resume."
I sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs and filled it out, returning it with my resume to her, thanked her and tracked down a couple more places. It was lunch time when I had exhausted my choices and my stomach started to rumble. I found a relatively quiet café where I ordered a turkey sandwich and an iced tea. I sat down by the window to eat and peruse a book I had found in a cute little bookstore nearby.
"Well, well, if it isn't Bella Swan," I heard a dry, female voice say.
I looked up in surprise. "Leah," I said coolly. "What are you doing here?"
She narrowed her eyes at me. "I'm here because I needed to talk to Jake. I could ask you the same thing, though, considering how close you are to where he lives. Are you stalking him now?"
I gave her an irritated wave of the hand. "I don't know where he lives. And as if it were any of your business, I'm here job-searching. Now go away."
I would have never spoken to anyone like that before, I thought to myself. It surprised me to see how I had changed in some ways. Leah's snarling face was now close to mine, but I met her gaze and didn't back down.
We stayed like that, neither of us willing to budge, until she finally just sat down and stared at me suspiciously. Anger was still evident in her eyes, but I could see a flash of curiosity.
"I can't decide if you've actually grown a backbone or you're a complete idiot. You know I could kick your ass, Swan."
I shrugged. "Go ahead and try."
She laughed, catching me off-guard. "You surprise me, Swan."
We just sort of silently sized each other up.
Finally, she leaned back and motioned for a cup of coffee from the waitress. "I have actually mellowed out lately," she said with a smirk.
I raised my eyebrows at her in disbelief. "If you say so."
"I'm surprised you're still around especially after the way everyone treated you. It takes guts to do that especially when it involves someone you say you love."
I bristled slightly at what she hinted at. "I do love Jake. Not supposedly. I do."
She raised her eyebrows and sipped her coffee. "Okay. Settle down. I suffered through the weird love triangle I was in, though the love was all on my side, so I just thought you…"
I furrowed my brow. "What? You want to help me out?"
Her eyes shuttered. "I don't know. I still kind of despise you, I'm not even sure anyone should trust you, and I don't actually need anyone myself… but… you actually show promise."
I laughed softly.
That was probably the wrong move as she moved in close, eyes glittering. "Are you laughing at me?"
"No, no," I amended. "I was just surprised…"
"Well, don't expect me to make this easy on you. You still have a lot to answer for, and my loyalty to Jake is a hell of a lot stronger."
"I appreciate it," I said simply so as not to freak her out again.
She stood up, draining the last of her coffee and slapped a few dollars onto the table. "Fine. Talk to you later, Swan."
I shook my head, a little baffled, as she strode out of the café. Did we just decide to become sort-of friends? Leah may have mellowed out a bit, but she was still pretty frightening.
*~*~*
JPOV
It was lunch time, and I was starving. I finished carrying a load of boards back to where I had gotten them, leaving them for the other guys' to use. "Be back in a half an hour," I called out and was waved off.
My apartment was within walking distance, so I took the chance and enjoyed the rare, partially sunny day. I passed busy shops and restaurants, other people out walking with their dogs', and the playground was full of kids. I was crossing the street when I stopped in surprise.
Was that Bella?
"Damn, I'm seeing her everywhere I go now," I muttered, shaking my head, telling myself to get it together.
She stopped, though, just as startled. "Jake?" she said. Well, apparently I wasn't just hallucinating. She really was here.
"What are you doing here?" I asked suspiciously. Did she come here looking for me? I wasn't sure I liked that idea.
Her gaze narrowed slightly. "Why does everyone think I'm stalking you?" she muttered. Apparently she could read minds, too.
"I'm here because I'm looking for a job. I meant it when I said I'm going to stay. Port Angeles is the closest area to home that I could possibly find what I'm looking for," she said defensively.
"Oh, well… that's good," I said, oddly at a loss for words. Her looking for a job did sort of cement the idea that she was staying here, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that idea. Probably a mixture of irritation, fear, longing, and something else I wasn't certain of.
I hesitated, feeling both annoyance and the desire to spend a little more time with her. "I'm on my lunch break, and I'm heading home to grab something to eat."
"Oh, sorry… I didn't mean to hold you up." Her face registered hurt briefly. She turned away, ready to leave.
"Do… do you want to walk with me? I don't have much time, but…"
She looked over her shoulder, eyeing me with uncertainty. "Okay, sure," she replied quietly. We fell into step as we walked the last block to my apartment. I led her up the stairs and opened the door.
I went into the kitchen to make a quick sandwich while she wandered through the kitchen and living room. They connected and were pretty spacious for an apartment, though it was pretty under-furnished. I watched her make her way around the couch and armchair, looking out the window that overlooked the tree-lined street. She brushed her fingers over the carvings my dad had made which I kept to make it feel like he was close by. She examined the simple wall hanging I had. When she finally made her way toward me, I could see longing in her eyes. What did Bella Swan long for? I could read her so well, but I wasn't sure what she wanted this time.
"I like it," she told me. "It suits you."
I shrugged a little, took another bite of sandwich. "I suppose so. It's really just a place to sleep and eat for me, though."
We were both quiet, the seconds ticking by. Bella looked like she wanted to say something, but was holding back.
Finally, she said, "Jake, I think we should talk about things. Everything feels so unsettled."
I turned away and downed half a can of Coke. "It does, but I still need time to think. It's just not that easy anymore, Bella."
I watched as she caught sight of Lila's shoes by the kitchen table. Lila had a habit of always kicking them off while she ate and leaving them there. There was a twisting in my stomach as Bella's expression showed pain and then it closed off.
"I should get home," she mumbled, hurrying toward the stairs. "Maybe I'll see you soon."
"I'm coming back tomorrow," I said keeping my voice even. "We're starting the preliminary work for the school and I'm hoping I can talk the pack into helping. They would get paid for it."
Bella paused and nodded. "That's a good idea. I'll talk to you later then."
She disappeared down the steps, and I brooded on my own, lost in my thoughts. I had invited Lila back to La Push with me at least for a couple days, to show her where I grew up. She was curious about where I lived, and even though things were tenuous with my brothers', she still wanted to meet them. It might be a good ice-breaker anyway. It had surprised me that Leah came to Port Angeles to see me. She was her usual pissy self, but I could see that in some way she was glad I was back.
She had actually come here with the reason that she was thinking of taking classes. Since I had been the only one of us to take any, she wanted my input. She could have asked anyone for help, but I was happy she came to me. It would never be easy for her to say, but I got the impression she had missed me. It was a nice feeling, though I knew she'd flip if I said anything.
As I called Lila before it was time to head back to work, I pondered how it seemed wrong to bring her back while Bella was there, but things couldn't always be put off to make it easier, so maybe it was better to just get it over with. She told me she would be able to get off work when I was ready to go and sounded interested in going home with me. I would head back to La Push tomorrow with Lila, ready to face my brothers' again, whether any of us were ready or not.
*~*~*
BPOV
I stood by the little silver Volvo that had been Edward's car - and became mine when we moved to Alaska - looking down at the rocks below and the waves lapping at them. The cliff was high, and I shivered in my parka as the icy wind lifted my hair. I pulled my knit hat down lower, shaking, as I ignored the Cullen's behind me.
The sky was rapidly darkening, and I already mourned the life I had tried to create for myself. There would be no more school, no more friends, no more going out unless it was with Edward or one of his family members to more secluded areas. And I would have to be disguised well enough to even be able to do that.
I was going to perish to all that knew me in a huge fireball. My fingers ached to call Charlie, Jacob, my mom…
It had taken a lot of discussions, reasoning, and the oh-so-logical arguments from Edward and his family to convince me to do this. They felt there was no choice, and while I didn't want to do it, I couldn't bring myself to put my family back home in danger or any of my new friends here. My chin shook at the thought of not being able to contact the people I loved and missed so goddamn much. I had seen Charlie a few months ago. We had met halfway. Our day together was spent boating, and I even fished with him. He allowed me to drag him to a bookstore and out for dinner afterward.
It had been a good day. He had given me the news from home, though he had been cagey about Jacob. He didn't seem to want to talk about him, and I didn't push even though I was desperate to hear how he was doing. Charlie had gotten a peculiar expression on his face when I brought him up.
In my desperation, I had called Jacob before this debacle was decided. I had called him between classes when I was away from the Cullen's, ready to beg him to help me, but he never answered. I had even left him a message, asking him to call me back, and that it was important. I had never heard back from him.
"It's time, Bella," Edward finally said.
I turned around, everything inside me protesting. I didn't want to do this, but my voice would go unheard. I knew they were doing this for my safety, but it didn't make it any easier. It wasn't until I felt the brush of Alice's fingers on my arm and the concern on her face that I realized I was even crying.
The car was being moved forward towards the edge of the cliff, Edward handed me my new cell phone with new number, and I watched as one last push sent the car over the edge. My knees gave out as a sharp pain pierced me somewhere deep inside. I watched as a ball of flame shot upward and I cried.
I watched as any semblance of a normal life disappeared in that ball of fire.
Chapter 6
*~*~*
AN: Sorry, FFn and my computer are conspiring against me, hence the lateness of this chapter. Anyway, next chapter will definitely have more Lila/Jake/Bella interaction in it (and more Leah). I wanted to cover how Bella's life had changed in Denali with that one single act, and it was too long to put it all together, so I just broke it up in between what she's doing now (in turn making that a little shorter).
As far as the Cullen's, do you think it was a terrible move? It's kind of in between, I think, though probably more terrible than anything else. Let me know what you think! :o) And by the way, I haven't just yet (because of the delay of computer issues, etc), but I will be updating my profile in the next couple days and will be listing what I like and am reading, what I plan on reading, etc for anyone who would like to look and check out some possible new stories. :o)
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there/Become so tired, so much more aware/I'm becoming this, all I want to do/Is be more like me and be less like you/And I know I may end up failing too/But I know you were just like me/with someone disappointed in you
*~*~*
BPOV
The next few days had been busy with my mom flying in and spending quite a bit of time with me in such a short visit. There had been a lot of tears, of demands for explanations that exhausted me. It was my fault, but my patience was stretched thin. She deserved answers, but I was having trouble getting around the whole my death was faked because I was in danger from ancient vampires thing. We mostly stayed inside; partially because Renee needed the reassurance that I truly was okay and because she needed me by her side.
It took awhile to calm her down. It was also difficult saying goodbye. Renee was exhausting, but I loved her. The guilt felt like it was going to be ever-present in my life from now on. We both cried before she left, and I promised I would call her often and that I would do my best to visit her as soon as I could.
It had been a couple days since I had spoken to Jacob, too. As far as I knew he hadn't been back, though it really hadn't been long. I was trying to give him some breathing space, but I kept coming back to the fact that he had a girlfriend and that made it hard. It didn't really surprise me because he had always been beautiful inside and out. It bothered me in completely selfish ways, though. Thinking of him with another woman stung more than it really had a right to.
I sighed, staring down morosely at the pasta cooking on the stove. Giving it a quick stir, I drained the water off. I dumped the vegetables and shrimp over it and called Charlie to dinner.
I could feel him watching me as I poked my fork into the mound. He twined some pasta slowly and ate it. "Bells?" he finally said.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"I know you haven't been back for very long, but maybe you need to find a job or something to do. You know, keep your mind occupied so you aren't thinking about…" he paused. I knew what he was going to say and my cheeks warmed.
"I planned on it," I admitted ignoring the rest of what he was inferring to. "I had looked in the paper for jobs when I got here. I just don't want you to, you know…"
He fiddled with his fork. "Freak out? I think it'd be pretty impossible to hide the fact that what I really want is for you to never leave this house."
He gave me a small smile, surprising a laugh out of me.
"But you need some distractions and I assume you're going to want to earn money." He took his last forkful of dinner and patted his stomach appreciatively.
There had also been the thought of eventually having my own apartment, but I knew Charlie wasn't ready for that, and I wasn't ready to leave him yet. A job would keep me busy, though, so I was anxious for that. In fact, I decided I would head out tomorrow to check into those job listings near Port Angeles.
He took his dishes to the sink. "You're right, I do," I said. "I think I'll head out tomorrow and see what's out there. I did take some writing, journalism and business courses while I was in…" My voice trailed off at the look on Charlie's face.
His eyes had that haunted look in them again. Instinctively, I moved toward him and wrapped my arms around him. "I missed parts of your life," he said wistfully.
Quite suddenly, I had trouble speaking around the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry, Dad. I can never say how sorry I am."
He hugged me back, his grip tight, as if I would disappear again. "You will give me answers one day. I haven't forgotten."
I closed my eyes, afraid of when that day would come. Would it be better if he knew the truth? The danger had never officially passed, but in over a year's time, the rumblings of the Volturi had stopped. Is it possible they would check on the Cullen's again or check here in Forks and find out I was still alive? I wasn't sure how to tell Charlie, though, without giving anything away. My lies would have to be kept track of, and I was completely sick of lying.
For now, he wasn't pushing me. I would take what I could get.
The dreams came more frequently now. It felt like I could barely escape my past because it kept haunting me at night. That evening was no exception as I dreamt of the moment when I realized I was in over my head and didn't know what to do.
The Volturi finally called Carlisle the evening of February 7th. I had a class soon that I was looking forward to, and I had made strides in achieving friendships with a couple people that took it as well. We were going to celebrate after the test we had to take to relieve some of the stress we had all been feeling.
Carlisle stood perfectly still in the middle of the living room, a blonde, marbled statue. He listened and finally said, "It is going to be taken care of."
Edward had stiffened throughout the conversation. He led me into the living room, urging me to sit. Confused, I glanced up at them as the rest of the Cullen's - overhearing the conversation from different parts of the house - came into the room.
"What is it?" I asked worriedly.
"The Volturi…" Edward paused. "They know you are still human, Bella, and they said if something isn't done soon they are going to take matters into their own hands," he continued without beating around the bush.
I felt my stomach drop, and I struggled to breathe. Alice gently pushed my head between my knees as I began to hyperventilate. "Breathe," she murmured.
"Maybe we should turn you in the next couple days," Emmett mused.
My desire to be a vampire was no longer there. It was already becoming a slight issue between Edward and me. His eyes met mine, and I looked down, twisting my fingers together. The panic tightened its hold around my throat. This was too soon; there wasn't enough time for me to process it.
"I… I don't think I want to…"
Edward's face tightened momentarily, but was smooth again a moment later. "We have to do something, Bella," Esme said quietly.
They pondered that when Edward came up with the idea of staging a car crash and having it reported in the local paper that I had been in it when it happened.
My breath caught in my throat at the consequences of something like that. "I can't… no… Charlie, Jake…" I cringed as I mentioned Jake's name out loud and saw that flash in Edward's eyes.
"It will only be circulated in Denali," Edward said calmly.
Rose looked thoughtful. "It could work. Denali is a small town. It wouldn't go beyond that, I'm sure."
I didn't like the idea. It would mean I'd have to go into hiding. I already felt so disconnected from my family and friends. The worry in the pit of my stomach grew as I saw I was being outnumbered. I knew it was so the Volturi wouldn't try to hurt me, but it didn't stop me from thinking this was a very bad idea.
I woke with a start. My head hurt, and I felt groggy as the vestiges of the dreams disappeared. The rain outside was quiet, just a soft pattering against the windows. I yawned, not really eager to get up, but also wanting to get a move on. So, I dragged myself out of bed and dressed in an emerald green sweater and nice slacks in case I got lucky and got to speak with someone in charge at any of the places I applied at.
I grabbed a pop-tart and poured some coffee into a travel mug. "You're going to go look for a job?" Charlie asked, pouring out his own coffee, already dressed in uniform.
"Yeah, I'm going to drive into Port Angeles to see if any newspaper offices might be hiring."
Charlie's eyes flickered with worry. "You're looking in Port Angeles?"
I said gently, "I don't think there would be anything like that around here, Dad. I'll probably have better luck in Port Angeles."
He nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, you're probably right. But… please be careful, Bells. Call me when you get there?"
"When I get there and on the way back," I promised. "My phone will be on the whole time."
I gave him a hug before getting into my truck to make the journey to the city. As I drove, I wondered where Jake lived, if he would be anywhere nearby. It hadn't slipped my mind I was going to the area where he lived, but I was thinking more and more about it. Did he live with this girlfriend? Was he with her now?
The thought had me cringing, and I tried to banish the thought as I parked. I scanned the page of the newspaper I brought with me and walked the few blocks to the local newspaper office.
"May I help you?" a perfectly coifed brunette said, looking up from her computer.
"Good morning," I said putting on my best professional smile. "I was wondering if there were any job openings for a journalist position or columnist."
"We do have a few job openings," she said smiling back. "Do you have experience in the field?"
"I went to school at the Kenai Peninsula College in Alaska. I took courses in writing, journalism, and business. My last job was in a bookstore."
She handed me an application. "All right, just fill this out, put any experience you may have had in this section, and attach your resume."
I sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs and filled it out, returning it with my resume to her, thanked her and tracked down a couple more places. It was lunch time when I had exhausted my choices and my stomach started to rumble. I found a relatively quiet café where I ordered a turkey sandwich and an iced tea. I sat down by the window to eat and peruse a book I had found in a cute little bookstore nearby.
"Well, well, if it isn't Bella Swan," I heard a dry, female voice say.
I looked up in surprise. "Leah," I said coolly. "What are you doing here?"
She narrowed her eyes at me. "I'm here because I needed to talk to Jake. I could ask you the same thing, though, considering how close you are to where he lives. Are you stalking him now?"
I gave her an irritated wave of the hand. "I don't know where he lives. And as if it were any of your business, I'm here job-searching. Now go away."
I would have never spoken to anyone like that before, I thought to myself. It surprised me to see how I had changed in some ways. Leah's snarling face was now close to mine, but I met her gaze and didn't back down.
We stayed like that, neither of us willing to budge, until she finally just sat down and stared at me suspiciously. Anger was still evident in her eyes, but I could see a flash of curiosity.
"I can't decide if you've actually grown a backbone or you're a complete idiot. You know I could kick your ass, Swan."
I shrugged. "Go ahead and try."
She laughed, catching me off-guard. "You surprise me, Swan."
We just sort of silently sized each other up.
Finally, she leaned back and motioned for a cup of coffee from the waitress. "I have actually mellowed out lately," she said with a smirk.
I raised my eyebrows at her in disbelief. "If you say so."
"I'm surprised you're still around especially after the way everyone treated you. It takes guts to do that especially when it involves someone you say you love."
I bristled slightly at what she hinted at. "I do love Jake. Not supposedly. I do."
She raised her eyebrows and sipped her coffee. "Okay. Settle down. I suffered through the weird love triangle I was in, though the love was all on my side, so I just thought you…"
I furrowed my brow. "What? You want to help me out?"
Her eyes shuttered. "I don't know. I still kind of despise you, I'm not even sure anyone should trust you, and I don't actually need anyone myself… but… you actually show promise."
I laughed softly.
That was probably the wrong move as she moved in close, eyes glittering. "Are you laughing at me?"
"No, no," I amended. "I was just surprised…"
"Well, don't expect me to make this easy on you. You still have a lot to answer for, and my loyalty to Jake is a hell of a lot stronger."
"I appreciate it," I said simply so as not to freak her out again.
She stood up, draining the last of her coffee and slapped a few dollars onto the table. "Fine. Talk to you later, Swan."
I shook my head, a little baffled, as she strode out of the café. Did we just decide to become sort-of friends? Leah may have mellowed out a bit, but she was still pretty frightening.
*~*~*
JPOV
It was lunch time, and I was starving. I finished carrying a load of boards back to where I had gotten them, leaving them for the other guys' to use. "Be back in a half an hour," I called out and was waved off.
My apartment was within walking distance, so I took the chance and enjoyed the rare, partially sunny day. I passed busy shops and restaurants, other people out walking with their dogs', and the playground was full of kids. I was crossing the street when I stopped in surprise.
Was that Bella?
"Damn, I'm seeing her everywhere I go now," I muttered, shaking my head, telling myself to get it together.
She stopped, though, just as startled. "Jake?" she said. Well, apparently I wasn't just hallucinating. She really was here.
"What are you doing here?" I asked suspiciously. Did she come here looking for me? I wasn't sure I liked that idea.
Her gaze narrowed slightly. "Why does everyone think I'm stalking you?" she muttered. Apparently she could read minds, too.
"I'm here because I'm looking for a job. I meant it when I said I'm going to stay. Port Angeles is the closest area to home that I could possibly find what I'm looking for," she said defensively.
"Oh, well… that's good," I said, oddly at a loss for words. Her looking for a job did sort of cement the idea that she was staying here, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that idea. Probably a mixture of irritation, fear, longing, and something else I wasn't certain of.
I hesitated, feeling both annoyance and the desire to spend a little more time with her. "I'm on my lunch break, and I'm heading home to grab something to eat."
"Oh, sorry… I didn't mean to hold you up." Her face registered hurt briefly. She turned away, ready to leave.
"Do… do you want to walk with me? I don't have much time, but…"
She looked over her shoulder, eyeing me with uncertainty. "Okay, sure," she replied quietly. We fell into step as we walked the last block to my apartment. I led her up the stairs and opened the door.
I went into the kitchen to make a quick sandwich while she wandered through the kitchen and living room. They connected and were pretty spacious for an apartment, though it was pretty under-furnished. I watched her make her way around the couch and armchair, looking out the window that overlooked the tree-lined street. She brushed her fingers over the carvings my dad had made which I kept to make it feel like he was close by. She examined the simple wall hanging I had. When she finally made her way toward me, I could see longing in her eyes. What did Bella Swan long for? I could read her so well, but I wasn't sure what she wanted this time.
"I like it," she told me. "It suits you."
I shrugged a little, took another bite of sandwich. "I suppose so. It's really just a place to sleep and eat for me, though."
We were both quiet, the seconds ticking by. Bella looked like she wanted to say something, but was holding back.
Finally, she said, "Jake, I think we should talk about things. Everything feels so unsettled."
I turned away and downed half a can of Coke. "It does, but I still need time to think. It's just not that easy anymore, Bella."
I watched as she caught sight of Lila's shoes by the kitchen table. Lila had a habit of always kicking them off while she ate and leaving them there. There was a twisting in my stomach as Bella's expression showed pain and then it closed off.
"I should get home," she mumbled, hurrying toward the stairs. "Maybe I'll see you soon."
"I'm coming back tomorrow," I said keeping my voice even. "We're starting the preliminary work for the school and I'm hoping I can talk the pack into helping. They would get paid for it."
Bella paused and nodded. "That's a good idea. I'll talk to you later then."
She disappeared down the steps, and I brooded on my own, lost in my thoughts. I had invited Lila back to La Push with me at least for a couple days, to show her where I grew up. She was curious about where I lived, and even though things were tenuous with my brothers', she still wanted to meet them. It might be a good ice-breaker anyway. It had surprised me that Leah came to Port Angeles to see me. She was her usual pissy self, but I could see that in some way she was glad I was back.
She had actually come here with the reason that she was thinking of taking classes. Since I had been the only one of us to take any, she wanted my input. She could have asked anyone for help, but I was happy she came to me. It would never be easy for her to say, but I got the impression she had missed me. It was a nice feeling, though I knew she'd flip if I said anything.
As I called Lila before it was time to head back to work, I pondered how it seemed wrong to bring her back while Bella was there, but things couldn't always be put off to make it easier, so maybe it was better to just get it over with. She told me she would be able to get off work when I was ready to go and sounded interested in going home with me. I would head back to La Push tomorrow with Lila, ready to face my brothers' again, whether any of us were ready or not.
*~*~*
BPOV
I stood by the little silver Volvo that had been Edward's car - and became mine when we moved to Alaska - looking down at the rocks below and the waves lapping at them. The cliff was high, and I shivered in my parka as the icy wind lifted my hair. I pulled my knit hat down lower, shaking, as I ignored the Cullen's behind me.
The sky was rapidly darkening, and I already mourned the life I had tried to create for myself. There would be no more school, no more friends, no more going out unless it was with Edward or one of his family members to more secluded areas. And I would have to be disguised well enough to even be able to do that.
I was going to perish to all that knew me in a huge fireball. My fingers ached to call Charlie, Jacob, my mom…
It had taken a lot of discussions, reasoning, and the oh-so-logical arguments from Edward and his family to convince me to do this. They felt there was no choice, and while I didn't want to do it, I couldn't bring myself to put my family back home in danger or any of my new friends here. My chin shook at the thought of not being able to contact the people I loved and missed so goddamn much. I had seen Charlie a few months ago. We had met halfway. Our day together was spent boating, and I even fished with him. He allowed me to drag him to a bookstore and out for dinner afterward.
It had been a good day. He had given me the news from home, though he had been cagey about Jacob. He didn't seem to want to talk about him, and I didn't push even though I was desperate to hear how he was doing. Charlie had gotten a peculiar expression on his face when I brought him up.
In my desperation, I had called Jacob before this debacle was decided. I had called him between classes when I was away from the Cullen's, ready to beg him to help me, but he never answered. I had even left him a message, asking him to call me back, and that it was important. I had never heard back from him.
"It's time, Bella," Edward finally said.
I turned around, everything inside me protesting. I didn't want to do this, but my voice would go unheard. I knew they were doing this for my safety, but it didn't make it any easier. It wasn't until I felt the brush of Alice's fingers on my arm and the concern on her face that I realized I was even crying.
The car was being moved forward towards the edge of the cliff, Edward handed me my new cell phone with new number, and I watched as one last push sent the car over the edge. My knees gave out as a sharp pain pierced me somewhere deep inside. I watched as a ball of flame shot upward and I cried.
I watched as any semblance of a normal life disappeared in that ball of fire.
Chapter 6
*~*~*
AN: Sorry, FFn and my computer are conspiring against me, hence the lateness of this chapter. Anyway, next chapter will definitely have more Lila/Jake/Bella interaction in it (and more Leah). I wanted to cover how Bella's life had changed in Denali with that one single act, and it was too long to put it all together, so I just broke it up in between what she's doing now (in turn making that a little shorter).
As far as the Cullen's, do you think it was a terrible move? It's kind of in between, I think, though probably more terrible than anything else. Let me know what you think! :o) And by the way, I haven't just yet (because of the delay of computer issues, etc), but I will be updating my profile in the next couple days and will be listing what I like and am reading, what I plan on reading, etc for anyone who would like to look and check out some possible new stories. :o)