on marriage, hetero-privilege and solidarity

[exterra]

d and i have been talking, over the last year or so, of our desire to have a ceremony in celebration of our relationship and committment to each other. as a queer and feminist woman, i have many critiques of the institution of marriage. however; one aspect of marriage that i do embrace is the social and public ritual of recognizing a relationship

Comments

[angiereedgarner]

If you come through L'ville or when we meet up in Lahore, I would love a long chat on this very topic. :)

[exterra]

Most definitely. Too bad I didn't meet you about a month ago! We were visiting Louisville -- where D's family lives. How are your preparations for Lahore going?

[angiereedgarner]

Waiting on visa, just got second round of shots this morning. Long distance home-hunting. Big sale of paintings starting tomorrow night in L'ville, so I don't have to store them all for years!

[exterra]

good luck with the sale!!! and home-hunting. what neighborhoods are you looking at? right now we're thinking a furnished flat in gulberg perhaps... we're on a budget (no income for a few months), but if you have income coming in you will no doubt be able to get a lovely place.

[chachachana]

one aspect of marriage that i do embrace is the social and public ritual of recognizing a relationship and commitment between two people by/within their communities and families. i believe that such ritual helps underscore the interconnection and mutuality between societies and individual/couple/family units in supporting each others' health and wellbeing. we hope our community will nurture us as individuals and in our relationship, and we hope that in and through our relationship we will contribute to the well-being and health of our larger community.this is very well said. would it be possible for me to use it (and cite you, of course) with the following minor adaptations in my wedding invitations and in our wedding ceremony

[exterra]

Awww, but of course. I would feel honored! I'm sad that I can't be there to see your wedding, but this way I feel I could be there in a tiny way :-).

[chachachana]

thank you! :D

especially by getting to use your quote, you'll be there with us in a *big* way!

i think we'll use this in the ceremony itself in nicaragua and i'm also making the invitations to the wedding celebrations for family and friends that we are having in tulsa and i want to include it in that, too. i know you won't be able to come to either one, but i'll send you both invitations anyway! (i have your address but it may have changed? could you e-mail it to me?)

thank you so much, amber! :)

[exterra]

i would love an invitation. right now we don't really have an address, but you could send it care of my mom who receives mail for me these days. i will e-mail it to you.

[capsicumanuum]

OH man, I hear you there. M and I were originally planning on having a religious ceremony and nothing else, for many of the same reasons. Like you, having a public ceremony to acknowledge our commitment to one another was important, and for us, it was important to do it in our church. Unfortunately, our church won't provide a blessing or commitment ceremony to opposite-sex couples who are not legally married (and technically it's not allowable to do so for same-sex couples, but most of our priests go ahead and bless same-sex civil unions anyway). There are some reasonably good theological reasons for requiring a legally binding commitment as well as the morally/spiritually binding one, but it still made me unhappy

[capsicumanuum]

Oh, and the age 62 thing is so that older couples can get the hospital visitation/health care proxy/tax benefits without losing widow/widower Social Security or pension benefits.