There were so many things I wanted to say to you in response to this but my mind failed to retain them as I read on. I suppose I should just say I enjoyed reading this immensely. Oh... & chocolate cigarettes?! Such a pleasure exists?! x
chocolaterieeyelinesDecember 11 2008, 12:10:45 UTC
thank you thank you(!) as usual i'm amazed someone actually read the entire thing(!) as it is stupidly long, i realize that (smile) even i have a hard time to muster the patience of reading it through, correcting grammar and checking links + while writing i simply write i get so wrapped up in the process i strangely detach myself from it, and i barely recall what i've written about. &chocolate cigarettes - i had no idea these were available and believed it to be candy or at least edible to some degree but No : they were to be smoked as proper cigarettes(!) i'm as mentioned not a smoker but this raised levels of curiosity and so i had to try of course. and WELL. definitely worth a shot, just for the sake of it. xo
my my! as i said in another comment (and as i state i think, in every new entry i make) i'm surprised anyone reads this in its entirety but to do so without taking a single breath - you have my respect, lady(!) (smile. smile.) as for “the show” i'm assuming you're talking about the catwalk thing(?) it went quite fine. i wasn't too keen on the colour choices by the makeup artist, who wanted to work with blue darker hues & lots of it : i'm generally all about blue but i didn't think those particular shades he had in mind worked at all with my plum reddish brown hair and my complexion. not to mention that the short hair in combination with “so much makeup” and my eyebrows made me look (even more! “heh”) on the verge of a drag queen... never satisfied! (smile) being a demure co-operative young woman i offered none of my opinions and ROCKED THE LOOK anyway. during the first catwalk i was t e r r i f i e d and i probably walked uncomfortably, shyly as well. the second walk went much better, i even kind of “liked it” - it's funny how there's
( ... )
1. Mathematics is the language of nature. 2. Everything around us can be represented & understood through numbers. 3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge. Therefore: there are patterns everywhere in nature.
it's a fucking magnificent brilliant film. it's been one of my absolute favourites for years and i was aghast when my sister told me the other day “she hadn't seen it” and “didn't actually know which feature i was talking about”(!) on the other hand she's lucky to have something to look forward to; the pleasure of watching it for the very first time.
10:15, personal note: It's fair to say I'm stepping out on a limb, but I am on the edge and that's where it happens.
It's one of my favorite movie ever, I also have the cd-soudntrack which I consider myself very lucky, because it's not possible anymore to buy it! oooo.
darling, I have so many questions for you, i'd like to know you better, & share pictures, & beautiful music for your fragile heart. Maybe we could be penpals? I would love it.
ps; oh myyy, i just took two pills by error - sorry I feel my hands are completly non-existant as I'm typing this,
I wish I was there for your show, do you have any pictures(?) your hair?
pointing + shouting “is that a boy or a girl!”
ooh. this reminds me, my early years-- my mom left when I was 3 years old, so I've been raised with my dad & I was really tomboy, nothing feminine, short hair, guy-kids clothes and everything. Sometimes people at the corner shop were saying; ' have a nice days boys! '. It's such a weird feeling, but I was really androgyne. I was asking my dad to call me, ( not my name ) but masculine name that I liked at this period.
there are no pictures from the show (or there probably is, somewhere, however i have not received any nor have i been pointed in such a direction where they exist) and i haven't had the time to take any photos of my hair yet either. inclined apparently, as i am to crossing the country twice a week nowadays(!) but once i get myself home&back on track, there will be Evidence, Photographic.
your early years remind me strongly of my little sister. she's 12 now and two or three years ago she felt very inspired by my short hair, wanted to do the same and sported the look for quite a long while. people mistook her for a boy rather often (shows just how strongly gender roles are established in our society, especially among younger kids) which of course made her feel down at times, though i did my best explaining to her that androgyny and gender bending is in fact courageous and very admirable. as cecil beaton said;
Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the
( ... )
melted and refrozen snow that looks blue in the morningguiltedbythesunDecember 11 2008, 03:36:33 UTC
Deserie! I barely know what to write. My mind is all over the place - much due to the emotional turmoil that you and your textual magic tricks have made me go through. It really gets to me, this whole phenomenon; you, and the words - & I ask myself: is this normal; am I normal? Why do I react like this? Do everybody react like this? I hope they do. They probably do. I am actually supposed to be studying (or sleeping) right now, for my art history exam on Friday, but hell no, that ain't happening. There is no chance in the netherworld that I will be able to concentrate on something else than this journal of yours right now. The deserian life; it amazes me. You gracefully move across the map, and accumulate life experience. That is certainly to reap the harvest. ... Hm, I have this peculiar tendency to imagine the growth, the becoming of age, of certain people - people who, just like you Deserie, have a fruitful ground to stand on (ie. a curious mind that is both secure and intelligent) - (relatively young) people who, when you meet
( ... )
blue snow. give unto me.eyelinesDecember 12 2008, 16:01:29 UTC
(smile) the most common response to my entries are variations of “i don't know what to say” so : it's possible i Do make minds wander all over the place, it seems that i . . . . Overwhelm. but this entry is about four or five pages long which is almost funny. &i haven't even written a word about halloween yet(!) next time perhaps -“hehe”. time&experience are two very curious things, how they transform, mould and (re)create, extend and continue to build your personality in unison. WHO WILL I BE is a thrilling question, especially since i've spent all previous years “hating myself” and maybe finally i'll find some Good within what/who i am becoming. because looking back makes me realize i'm not at all the same person i was several years ago (thank god?), i'm certainly changing, i just don't know who the fuck i am -yet.
i think you'll like hopscotch, it's a great book, inspiring and clever. as always you must tell me what you think! &i should really get my painfully-slow-self to the local library here in malmö; i've already romanced
( ... )
bird girls can flyguiltedbythesunDecember 14 2008, 02:15:19 UTC
Yes, Deserie, you do Overwhelm. Constantly. You're most definitely a master in the arts of Overwhelming. Give a single syllable from one of your words to an infant, and that infant won't need anything else to play with during the rest of his/her childhood. My niece will get one, for christmas, and I'm expecting a never-ending time of ecstatic arm-waving & screaming laughter. & also - it will bring me an infinite amount of super-awesome-uncle points. . . . . (four dots, Deserie-style) I'm most certain that the future You will be a tremendously fascinating phenomenon to experience, (which is not to say that you, at this right moment, are any less of a fascinating phenomen to experience), no matter how that particular future will treat you, for reasons that I mentioned in my last comment (curiosity, security, intelligence and such). And yes, time&experience are indeed two very curious things, which reminds me that I really really should try to shape up my Heidegger during THESE HEAVENLY, STUDY-FREE WEEKS ahead
( ... )
and they do. they Do.eyelinesDecember 17 2008, 14:53:27 UTC
&then there's you, offering always such complimentary phrases making-me-shy and nearly-blushing at the same time (smile) my train rides (both of them) were entirely accidental-free with no misfortunes or animals or human beings challenging life by positioning themselves on the tracks and i also had the six bed compartment all to myself so i chilled, had many coffees, read the newest issue of DANSK and listened to music for fourteen solitary hours and it was all So Fine. i am now finally home and on monday it was two weeks since i last put my foot here in this room, so fucked. it even feels a little “wrong” . . . . but it is never endingly sweet to be able to hug/love thea, to sleep in a bed that doesn't “move” and to drink coffee (specifically ZOEGAS. BLUE JAVA.) that isn't instant in pulverized form : thank god for that. &speaking of which, i totally need another coffee
( ... )
Comments 42
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I hope the show is/was brilliant.
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you
you
you
!
for making my morning considerably better, brighter, more genuinely pleasant.
i feel TODAY will be delicious. have a beautiful weekend, drrrling.
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11:15 Restate my assumptions:
1. Mathematics is the language of nature.
2. Everything around us can be represented & understood through numbers.
3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge. Therefore: there are patterns everywhere in nature.
- Max Cohen. π
Lightning rarely travels in a straight line or strikes in the same place.
x
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10:15, personal note: It's fair to say I'm stepping out on a limb,
but I am on the edge and that's where it happens.
♥
Reply
It's one of my favorite movie ever, I also have the cd-soudntrack which I consider myself very lucky, because it's not possible anymore to buy it! oooo.
darling, I have so many questions for you, i'd like to know you better,
& share pictures, & beautiful music for your fragile heart. Maybe we could be penpals? I would love it.
ps; oh myyy, i just took two pills by error - sorry I feel my hands are completly non-existant as I'm typing this,
I wish I was there for your show, do you have any pictures(?)
your hair?
pointing + shouting “is that a boy or a girl!”
ooh. this reminds me, my early years-- my mom left when I was 3 years old,
so I've been raised with my dad & I was really tomboy, nothing feminine, short hair, guy-kids clothes and everything. Sometimes people at the corner shop were saying; ' have a nice days boys! '. It's such a weird feeling, but I was really androgyne. I was asking my dad to call me, ( not my name ) but masculine name that I liked at this period.
x
Reply
your early years remind me strongly of my little sister. she's 12 now and two or three years ago she felt very inspired by my short hair, wanted to do the same and sported the look for quite a long while. people mistook her for a boy rather often (shows just how strongly gender roles are established in our society, especially among younger kids) which of course made her feel down at times, though i did my best explaining to her that androgyny and gender bending is in fact courageous and very admirable. as cecil beaton said;
Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the ( ... )
Reply
I am actually supposed to be studying (or sleeping) right now, for my art history exam on Friday, but hell no, that ain't happening. There is no chance in the netherworld that I will be able to concentrate on something else than this journal of yours right now.
The deserian life; it amazes me. You gracefully move across the map, and accumulate life experience. That is certainly to reap the harvest. ... Hm, I have this peculiar tendency to imagine the growth, the becoming of age, of certain people - people who, just like you Deserie, have a fruitful ground to stand on (ie. a curious mind that is both secure and intelligent) - (relatively young) people who, when you meet ( ... )
Reply
i think you'll like hopscotch, it's a great book, inspiring and clever. as always you must tell me what you think! &i should really get my painfully-slow-self to the local library here in malmö; i've already romanced ( ... )
Reply
You're most definitely a master in the arts of Overwhelming.
Give a single syllable from one of your words to an infant, and that infant won't need anything else to play with during the rest of his/her childhood. My niece will get one, for christmas, and I'm expecting a never-ending time of ecstatic arm-waving & screaming laughter.
& also - it will bring me an infinite amount of super-awesome-uncle points.
. . . . (four dots, Deserie-style) I'm most certain that the future You will be a tremendously fascinating phenomenon to experience, (which is not to say that you, at this right moment, are any less of a fascinating phenomen to experience), no matter how that particular future will treat you, for reasons that I mentioned in my last comment (curiosity, security, intelligence and such). And yes, time&experience are indeed two very curious things, which reminds me that I really really should try to shape up my Heidegger during THESE HEAVENLY, STUDY-FREE WEEKS ahead ( ... )
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