"fathers be good to your daughter
daughter will love like you do
girls become lovers and turn into mothers
so mothers be good to your daughter too."

i'm at work now and i'm bored. so hi. okay i'm done. im going to go read now. bye.

Today was insane. Very twitchy. But right now.. I'm calm. Scary calm.. but calm. I had about 3 or 4 panic attacks today and my mom just asked me if I want to go on meds. No mom I don't want meds. Ive had them before and I don't like them. Argh! Had a session with Meaghan and vented about a lot of things and I feel a bit better... don't feel liek ( Read more... )

I feel like I've lost my best friend. But I guess... it happens. People move apart. This person found someone else to spend all of her time with and seems happier than has been in a while. So I guess I'll just go through how I have been ( Read more... )

So I came to a weird realization last night... well I came to many.. but this one really rang through. I'm not the old Stacey that could hide her feelings and I'm not the old Stacey that only needed Stacey to survive. I want part of that back. At least being able to hide myself. Asshole 2 actually almost struck gold last night... I do hide part of ( Read more... )

Want to hear something interesting... according to my bone mass and stuff I should weigh 129.. which is exactly what I weigh.. and which is alot better than 139 which is what one ideal weight thing said i should be. i think i'll stick with 129. i don't understand me right now.. i'm so messed up in a way but not all at the same time. i can see me ( Read more... )

Don't you love that when one person looks at you a certain way and approaches you, everything you fight so hard to keep bottled up inside can come bursting out? That happened last night and I'm still shaking from it ( Read more... )

DisorderRatingParanoid:HighSchizoid:HighSchizotypal:HighAntisocial:ModerateBorderline:Very HighHistrionic:HighNarcissistic:ModerateAvoidant:HighDependent:Very HighObsessive-Compulsive:High
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figured I'd just update to say I'm alive and all that junk. Though for how long I don't know. Kinda icky and down today for no reason. Worked two jobs today and had a decent enough day.. got $200 from grandparents i don't like.. and yeah *shrug* but i feel like crap. maybe i'll sleep a bit.. or go out with j.. i dont know yet. have a show ( Read more... )

heh i lost. i cut last night. 139-140 days down the drain cause my mother and i got into it and i couldn't take it any longer. i mean it was going to happen sooner or later. and if anything this has just pushed me to want to get out of the house, work more, and study harder just to get out of this situation cause i can't stand it. i'm 19 and she ( Read more... )

i'm becoming numb again.. and i havent been this numb since probably the beginning of the summer... cause this is like a 'happy numb'. the kind where you can still be happy and no one really notices unless you bring it to their attention like this will be brought to a few peoples attention now. lol. anyways.. i dont know what my problem is. i ( Read more... )